HAHA. Very funny trickster.

Yesterday, I got into work from the long weekend and had 2 voicemails on my work phone. One was stupid but the other was from someone named Joe Richardson...wanted to talk about some of my reports that I had just sent him.

As it was 7AM (after a 3 day weekend), I was stumped on who this person might be and what reports they are talking about--because I don't recall working with anyone having that name. However, I did send another report to different Joe right before I left on Friday---but nope, that wasn't him. I look the name up in the company directory and there is no one by that name. And, the phone number that he left for me to call him back was 913 area code---which my work is all 816 area code. So I knew it wasn't someone internal. I didn't think much of it, but just added his name and number to my to do list to call him back when I got the chance.

So right before I went to lunch, I picked up my work phone and dialed the number back. What do I hear when I pick up the phone???

"Hello, (insert company name), this is Jimmy speaking, how can I help you?"

Oh really- yes that would be Jimmy, my husband. I stay silent for like 2 seconds, trying to process everything that had just happened. Few things that spiraled through my mind:

- Wait- so my husband is really Joe Richardson?
- This is confusing...
- OHHHH so this is the prank call that Emily was talking about and telling me about this weekend.
- Wait, why is he doing this?
- Wait, why does he have enough extra time to prank call people- are we in 7th grade?
- Ok, this is hysterical
- I'm slightly annoyed because he added one more thing to my daily to do list
- But still keep laughing, and finally....my sound of laughter emerges for him to hear on the other line when I say...

"JIMMY!! You prank called me at work- you weirdo. Haha"

He starts laughing. We talk for .5 seconds because I have other stuff to do, but I keep smiling thinking about how funny that was...as I'm over the fact I apparently was smart enough to put the whole thing together. And he's disappointed I didn't recognize his voice!! What?! I mean I'm checking my messages at 7AM first of all, and second of all, sorry that it would NEVER occur to me that anyone would prank call my work phone---let alone my husband.

Well, at least he is still keeping me smiling, right :)

Apparently I'm a thief

So Monday night after our work out class, Lauren and I went to Price Chopper on the way home to pick up some must have items.  We went in together then went our separate ways, meeting at the check out counter around the same time.  We go to separate check out lines.  I check out first, then wait for her as she checks out.  We grab our bags, head out the door, get in her car.  As we are driving away, I note that the lady that checked me out is standing outside the store (in a t-shirt, I might add, and it was like 12 degrees) and say "it looks like she's looking for someone...." to Lauren.  Then we drive off romantically into the sunset and that's it.

Or so I thought.  (I think this is a theme of my recent posts)

After my elevator incident (see post below), I get in my car and check my cell phone. 

5 missed calls from Jimmy 
1 voicemail from Jimmy (saying....Call me back.  Are you stuck in the elevator?)
1 text message from my mom

The text message says "Call Price Chopper @ XXX-XXXX.  Something about your transaction last night." Um, ok, that's weird.

So I call my mom and ask for more details.  She said that she asked them, but they wouldn't say.  Lots of things start running through my mind.  Did I will a prize?  Did I leave my debit card?  Why would they be calling me? 

I call them back.  Tell the girl that answers my name and why I'm calling.  She puts me on hold.  For 10 minutes.  With the most terrible hold music.  Like come on.  Hold music sucks in general, so if you are going to try to make it cool but it really sucks, just don't use it at all.  Anyways, this lady answers finally and I tell her my name and that I was returning a call about my transaction last night and just wanted to see what they needed. 

Her response: "Yes.  You didn't pay for your groceries."

Mine: semi-panic in my voice "I'm confused.  How does that happen?"

Her response: "I'm not sure. You didn't get a receipt and you just didn't pay."

Thoughts running through my head.  How did the cashier let me walk off with my groceries?  I even stood there and waited for Lauren for like 5 minutes....how did she not realize it then!?  Then it hits me.  I bought some blackberries and when she scanned them they didn't come up in the system.  She asked me how much they were, I tell her the correct price and then another lady comes up and tells her to write down the UPC so she can get it entered into the system.  The cashier apparently can read the small UPC without her glasses, so I read it to her and she wrote it down, handed it to the other lady and then handed me my groceries.  Wait...I didn't ever pay.  I handed her my Chopper Shopper card and that is it.  AND the cashier that I commented on waiting outside was in fact looking for me.

As I have this realization I feel horrible!!  It's not like I meant not to pay.  I would never steal.  Groceries especially.  I start explaining this to the lady on the phone going step by step through the story.  She is not amused.

Her response (coldly): "Yes, I figured it was something of that sort.  Please hold so I get someone to get your information."  Um ok, lets be rude.  It's not like I meant to and I just told her how sorry I was and that I would give you my debit card information.

So then I get on the phone and explain the whole thing to the original girl I was talking to.  She laughs and says that she's sure it was a misunderstanding and takes my info and done.  But seriously, I know it was partly my fault....but it's not like a grabbed my groceries and RAN out of the store purposely stealing them.  I mean what true thief hangs around waiting and then casually strolls out.

Anyways, I'm not a thief.  It was a mistake.  I'm sorry Price Chopper.  I will never do it again.  But the lady that got angry with me, I suggest you learn some customer service skills from the lady that first answered the phone.

Again though, how does this stuff always seem to happen to me??  Guess it does make for good blog posts.

Yes I did get stuck on an elevator

Tuesday.  I had the day off work.  I was busy with our wedding invites.  I haven't ever been to Jimmy's work, so this was the perfect day to grab lunch with him and see his office.  Simple, nice, fun.  Or so I thought.

It is that simple.  I go pick him up, we grab lunch at Tequila Harry's, we go up to his office and I meet all these people he works with, check out his cube (that has pictures of us from like 4 years ago......hmmmm), and then we walks me to the elevator and I'm off to meet my mom and sister at our house.

Or so I thought :)

I get in the elevator and push 1.  I wait.  Nothing happens.  I push 2, thinking that if I get it to move I should be ok.  Nothing happens.  I push open door.  Nothing happens.  Ok so then I have a mini-freak out and push every button in the elevator.  Nothing happens.  Then I push the "call for emergency" button and a lady answers.

Elevator Operator (EO): "Can I help you?"

Me: "Yes, I'm stuck on the elevator"

EO: "Did you push the Open Door button?"

Me: Does she think I'm a complete moron? "Yes I did.  And it didn't open."

EO: "Oh, ok.  Did you try to push another floor?"

Me: Ok wow, she must think I'm like 4 years old or doesn't usually talk to semi-coherent people. "Yes ma'am.  I have tried everything."

EO: "Ok, it sounds like you are stuck" (Me: DUH) "Hold on a second please" (Me: Ummm...I'm not going anywhere.  You yourself just stated I'm stuck on an elevator) "Ok I just talked to Amy from the building and she is sending someone over.  Please let me know if you need anything else."

And then I sit.  And sit.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I bring my cell phone with me everywhere.  Except this time.  Left it in the car.  Because why oh why would I ever need a cell phone to go quickly into see Jimmy's office and leave? :) 
Someone calls my name.  I kind of feel like I'm in a movie.  I answer to them that yes, I am in fact still here.  It's a manager in Jimmy's office that I just met 10 minutes ago.   He explains to me that he, Jimmy and Jeff were on their way down the elevator and they heard us talking on the intercom.  And that Jimmy is trying to call me on my cell phone now to see if I'm stuck.  Hmmmm....

So then I just sit....and sit....and sit.  I hear some building guys come but tell someone on their walkie talkie that they in fact don't have the elevator key to open the elevator so they have to wait for the elevator company representative.  That's makes total sense (do you sense sarcasm).

I sit and sit and sit.

Then I hear Jimmy laughing.  I call out "Jimmy, I hear you. This is not funny."

Then the door opens.  And I get out and walk down the stairs. 

And now I will forever be known in Jimmy's office not as his fiance, but as the girl that got stuck on the elevator :)  But this in fact my friends, is precisely the reason why I started this blog. Because for some reason in this strange and twisted universe, things like this just always seem to happen to me.  See the next post for more. 

Appropriate meter

What I am about to describe to you is the exact reason why I started a blog. Because this kind of stuff just always seems to happen to me.

Now to preface this, I want to state I have never been a mom. I have never had a baby, so I don't know what it's like to balance that and real life. Balance the late nights, a new person that depend entirely on you tending to it's every need, or breast feeding. So due to this lack of personal life experience thus far...I might have a skewed opinion. However, I did ask several people what their thoughts were on it that have had babies prior to writing this entry. They unanimously agreed with my opinion.

On to the event:
Sitting in a meeting on Saturday morning with a presentation/discussion in full swing.
I suddenly hear a strange noise coming from the table in front of me. Sounds like a machine.
I just forget it and figure I heard something odd.
Then it continues on. A constant sound that cannot be written into words- as those words tend to make me blush that I would use to describe them. One would be "suck".
So I peek at the woman in front of me. She has a piece of fabric draping over her front.
I realize that, from my experience in Jimmy's family (lots of babies so I see the basics there!)...she is wearing a nursing apron.
Wait, did you get that straight? Yes - a lady is sitting in a meeting with a breast pump running, that is of course attached to her breast.
Now obviously, like I mentioned, I have never done this before so the whole thing is very foreign to me. But I'm sure after you are a new mom for awhile it becomes second nature.
However, I can boldly state that if I so choose to breast feed as a new mom and use a breast pump, I probably will not choose to use it in the middle of a meeting with 30 other women WHILE still participating (talking, answering questions, giving opinions).
Let alone 4 times during the first day session and 2 times during the second day session.

Lyssa would be my one inside source to ask this honest question to. And I want to know what she has to say. But I'm guessing she's in the same "that's probably not the most appropriate thing...." boat as I am.

In terms of an appropriate meter- if you ask me this is off the charts as inappropriate. Go to the bathroom. Go to your hotel room. Heck, just go to the back of the meeting room. I don't care that you are doing it as I know it's absolutely natural and something you are doing for your baby, but it would be a lot less awkward for the entire group if you didn't do it in the middle of the room....while still participating. No matter how important you are, you can probably step out for 10 min or so and get your business done and come back just fine.

And that my friends- is all I have to say about that. I was absolutely stunned when I realized what I was witnessing. Not sure how you would feel, but I'd love to know :)