Why having a 2 year old is hilarious

Yes I said it - tantrums, indecisiveness, screaming and all - having a 2 year old in your house seriously can provide hours of entertainment.  Thank goodness, because if you're taking a positive look at things - the entertainment outweighs the frustration.  Most days.

Case in point.  Just in the last 24 hours, Charlie has done the following things that literally had me laughing out loud for quite a while:

While playing with his tractor outside, he turned the tractor over and pointed to the underside and asked about the tractor's "peno" (aka male private part in Charlie's vocabulary).  Then talked about it and how a tractor gets powder (baby powder for diaper rash).  I mean what!?!?

We decided to start Friday off with a bang and take everyone to McDonald's for breakfast.  We rarely ever go out to eat, so this was fun!  Charlie talked about going to "Old McDonald" the whole way there.  Then he got a sausage biscuit, hashbrown and fruit and yogurt parfait.  Even though he talked about the hashbrown very clearly, apparently he thought at some point it was chicken and the sausage biscuit was a pancake (what/!?!).  And proceeded to tell his teacher at school when we got there how he had pancakes and chicken for breakfast.

He participated in the ice bucket challenge video with both me AND his father and wanted more.  WTH?

He literally goes from hating something to wanting it in 2 seconds flat.

Watching him run around imitating Tarzan and banging his chest and yelling.  Like loud yelling.

While these might not be as funny reading them (because honestly, I'm not laughing out loud typing them...), but at the time and watching my sweet boy say and do these things - gives me hope and makes me confident that this is one of the many reasons I'm lucky to be a mom - in particular his mom.

Rocking a mustache at school 

Oh my- Maddie is terrified!!

Happy Friday friends!

Fun Story Friday: Photo Hunt (mom version)

In college, my friends and I played the "nudie" photo hunt like it was our job.  Literally.  We knew the bars that had it and we went there, parked ourselves in front of the screen and would try to beat the high score and we usually did.  We would assemble the perfect team of people (around 4) that would be able to catch all 5 differences in the pictures immediately.  While maybe inappropriate (and why when Jimmy and I try to find it at bars in KC - it's only at like 2), the "nudie" version of photo hunt seemed to be WAY easier than the normal photo hunt.  Weird, but man it was so fun to get the high score and then head to the next bar and repeat.  We were cool in college if you couldn't tell from this snippet.

This is not anything "nudie", as this is a somewhat appropriate and PG blog.  However, can you spot the main difference in the pictures below (sorry that I look creepy in them - didn't think I was going to post on my blog but just send to my mom and sister - but turned out it's too amusing not to share and just part of being a nursing mom I guess)...

 Just one difference really...

I'm guessing you spot it.  I have a tank top underneath my shirt in the one on the right and not on the left.  But really the one on the left, I have a tank top on, it was just pulled down. So you can literally see my bra (luckily it was nude colored!).

Oh mom friends - you will understand this all too well.  I went downstairs yesterday to the "mom's room" at work to pump at noon before a 12:30 meeting.  I was in a hurry, forgot to pull my tank top back up over my bra after I was done pumping.  I literally walked around like this and sat in a 2 hour meeting, talked to several people, etc. all with a pretty much see through shirt on.  Awkward?  Yes.  Did I care?  For like 5 seconds, and then realized I am lucky that in the last 5 months of pumping at work I've only done this 2 times (yes, I've done it before...but the over shirt was not while and pretty much see through...).  I am sure it could have been a lot worse, right?  I am also lucky because I had a cardigan over this shirt.  BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#workingmom #breastfeedingproblems #OMG

Those are the hashtags that fit so nice.  Oh the things we do for our children.

Any other breastfeeding mamas have embarrassing stories like that?  I KNOW YOU DO!  Please share.  Because everyone needs a good laugh on a Friday, right?

PS - I really want to play photo hunt.  Pi Phi friends, you in?

FSF- follow up

I know it's not Friday, but this is just a follow up to a Fun Story Friday post.  So it will be on Monday.  I make the rules here.  So I posted a little whole ago about losing my mind and other things...that included a whole box of rice cereal for Charlie. I have good news:

1. The missing rice cereal box has been located.

2. I'm not in fact the one who lost/misplaced it. That would be one of our dogs. My bets are on Toby, as he's the only one big enough to counter surf. However, I'm also guessing that Willy had something to do with the end location. They tag team stuff like that all the time. Like one time when they knocked my work bag down from a hook and ripped open (and consumed a bag of peanut MandMs...more impressively all lived to tell the story. Or when Toby grabs dirty Tupperware off the counter and shares (you can actually read about that story from way back in 2010...). These dogs.  Never a dull moment is right.

But back to the main point...where the rice cereal box was and what accompanied it. Jimmy was ever so kindly moving the upstairs furniture around one evening when I was at class (after I had told him about my "brilliant" idea from a friend at work...this will be featured on a blog post soon). When moving the couches around in our living room he found the box if cereal under a couch and it wasn't eaten...but just severely gnawed on. It went in the trash immediately obvs (mama's not feeding her baby trash...) after I saw it in the counter when I got home from class - Jimmy wanted to let me know he found it.

The funny part? I saw an empty tuna can in the trash when I was throwing it away. Since we hadn't had tuna in awhile I asked Jimmy if he ate some that night. Nope - turns out he found that under the couch as well with the cereal. That just makes me feel so good about all the people that have been over to our house in the last who knows number of months that sat in that room and MIGHT have smelled something funny but were too embarrassed to say anything and point out that our house smells.

Embarrassing to the max.

I promise we are not dirty, even though our dogs like to hide things in places that makes it seem like we are. Dang dogs.....but at least we didn't find the cereal in a random cabinet or the freezer.  Could be worse.

FSF: losing my mind and other things

So last week my sister was telling me that my blog just isn't as fun anymore (in a nice way...). That all I blog about is Charlie. Yes, that is true. What I like about my blog is how it has transformed over the last 4 years. So I defended it and told her all we do is hang out with Charlie, so of course that's what I blog about. She agreed but made the request for "Fun Story Friday" to emerge again. While there will be no stories of my riding the bus adventures (don't think the Jo would make a special day care drop off....), there are pretty amusing things that happen with a baby. While most include bodily functions (i.e. poop, pee, spit up), one happened last night that involved none if the above. And it goes like this...

There are lots of things I have to remember everyday now. Like making sure milk gets in Charlie's bag, ensuring i do not smell like baby throw up, transporting breastmilk and the list goes on. Not to mention most of these things to remember take place all before 7:30am.

Yesterday morning I was quickly picking up stuff in our house because our cleaning lady was coming (yes, I got a cleaning lady...judge if you will, but you work 40 hours a week, make dinner every night, take care of a 5 month old baby and 3 dogs and go to grad school at night...and then tell me the first thing you want to do with your "free time" is scrub toilets...no thanks.  I had aspirations of being super mom, but I have come to the realization that I plain and simple just want to spend time with my kid). Since we just started feeding Charlie rice cereal the box hasn't found a "home" in our pantry yet. Because I like to make sure the counter is clear to be cleaned I put the rice cereal box away.

Last night I got home after a quick visit to drop off dinner and meet sweet baby Noah and it was time to feed Charlie his cereal.  So I got the bowl and spoon out and Jimmy searched for the box of cereal.  He couldn't find it.  He originally blamed it on our cleaning lady for moving it and then I finally fessed up.  I moved it.  And guess what?  I couldn't remember where I put it.  And then we searched.  High and low.  In the pantry, in all the kitchen cabinets and even in the fridge and freezer.  We looked everywhere.  I told him I was sorry and that I was losing my mind and other things on top of that.  Literally.

So I sent him off to the grocery store after looking at sweet baby Charlie sitting in his high chair all anxious for that cereal.  I took him out of the high chair and nursed him a bit and then just like that, dad had arrived and all was well.  Our little dude got his cereal (at all of it again - he's loving it and doing good!), a bath, nursed some more and then off to bed.  All was well again in the Carter house.

Except guess what?  We still cannot find the missing box of rice cereal.  Now all I can think about is when and where it might pop up.

Let's just be thankful that is all I lost.  I constantly panic about forgetting Charlie somewhere.  Yes, I'm crazy and in my current crazy state of mind, it wouldn't surprise me.  So I double check twice, three times to make sure he's always by my side.

And I thought I had pregnancy brain...apparently mom brain is even worse...

I will let you know when/if the box of cereal ever emerges from it's "hiding spot".  I'm positive I put it in a "logical" place at the time. 

Cabbage versus Lettuce

Sunday about 2:30PM we got home from our short weekend tripto Iowa and visiting family.  Jimmy had already invited some of his family over to our house where he was going to smoke burgers.  Except we had no hamburger meat.  Oh and really nothing else to supplement the hamburgers, so it was off to the store for him.  He assured me over and over again that all I was going to have to do when I got home was get in the shower and get ready.  Obviously he is a man.

I made a list for him to take to the store so he knew what to get (yes, even though this was “his” BBQ, I still of course planned the menu).  On that list was a head of lettuce for people to put on their hamburgers.  That’s simple right?

Oh men.  Nothing is that simple.

Jimmy came home with this:

The Cabbage

Do you know what that is?  It’s a head of cabbage.  Not lettuce.  So when I was looking at the receipt and wondering to myself how in the WORLD a head of lettuce would cost $3.29…I saw that it said cabbage.  I told Jimmy he got the wrong thing and asked him why it was so expensive.  He said cabbage is the same thing as lettuce and it was supposed to only be $0.79.  Oh no my dear husband, that sign said “$0.79 per pound” – which is precisely why I do the grocery shopping.  Because I know that this is what a head of lettuce looks like.  And the fact that he swore that he looked everywhere in Hy-Vee and this was the only thing that looked like lettuce and they didn’t have anything else. 

The Lettuce

As much as I didn’t want to go BACK to the grocery store and exchange it…I wasn’t about to have cabbage leaves out for people to eat versus good old fashioned lettuce.  Because let me tell you friends, there is a huge difference in cabbage on your burger and lettuce on your burger.  And Jimmy’s mom and brother and dad and sister-in-law and grandma – yep, I did not think they deserved to be offered cabbage.  So back to the store I went with wet hair and no make-up (because remember, ALL I was going to have to do was shower…) and explained to the customer service people my husband doesn’t know the difference…in which she gave me the same look I gave Jimmy just minutes before at our house.  But she was wonderful, laughed at it and let me exchange it for the actual head of lettuce and then gave me $2 back.  Which then the next day I used at Quik Trip. 

Another one of those wonderful traits of a husband, right?!  Haha.  Again, this is why I do the grocery shopping.  I let him do it every once and a while but he doesn’t like it when he comes home and I go over the receipt saying that he didn’t get this and that on sale and then he gets freaked out because I know that off the top of my head.

FSF: Boiling eggs

Bringing back a Fun Story Friday for this Friday....last Sunday night we were having cobb salad for dinner and using some leftover fried chicken strips I had made the night before for dinner.  On my way to the grocery store at around 4:30, Jimmy and I had the following conversation via text message:

Brittany: "Hey I have 2 questions for you.  What kind of dressing would you like and can you boil 5 eggs?"

Jimmy: "Sure.  FF Ranch."

Jimmy: "How do I do that."

Brittany: "Seriously??"

Jimmy: "Yes."

Brittany: "Just boil water.  And put 5 eggs in and leave it to cook.  It will be done when I get home"

Jimmy: "Thanks."

Ok - he was serious.  I couldn't believe it.  This is like when Emily asked how to make pasta in college...haha.  Anyone remember that - isn't that what she asked???  Oh Jimmy, what in the world would you do without me??

I find it hilarious and sad all at the same.  Love that kid.

FSF: Kids say the darndest things

This post is dedicated to Vanessa and Chris.  As this mainly involves them and something funny our niece Maren said regarding them - but they haven't heard yet.  Just a back story if you are confused - Vanessa's sister is married to one of Jimmy's older brothers and they have 3 beautiful children.  Which just so happens to make Vanessa, my best friend, and I aunts to the same kids.  Fun, huh?  We think so!  And Vanessa and Chris also live in Houston, Texas.  Maren loves them a lot and always misses them (and Hazel!).  But she hasn't been to Texas to visit them yet - but from the sounds of this story, she is ready to go!!! So here we go.

Last Sunday we went over my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's house to watch the Chief's game.  Since we were the first ones to arrive, Maren and Norah quickly escorted me into the play room to begin play time.  As we were sitting there ordering some food from waitress Maren (plastic salami sandwich for me, one taco and some broccli for Norah), Maren started talking about Texas.  As when I'm with them, we often talk about Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Chris - because she and I both feel the same way and really wish they lived in Kansas City and we got to see them more.  She started telling me about dinosaurs.  Our conversation went like this:

Maren (M): "Aunt Brittany, you know there are dinosaurs in Texas?"

Brittany (B): "I didn't know that- I thought all dinosaurs were extinct"

M: "Nope, they are there.  They are the dads to horses in Texas.  But they are ONLY in Texas"

B: "Interesting....where did you learn that?"

M: "The other day.  The dinosaurs are big and scary.  I need to call Vanessa and tell her to keep an eye on Hazel - just in case she gets out.  Dinosaurs are ONLY in Texas"

B: "That's a great plan!!"

M: "But Uncle Chris, he is REALLY afraid of the dinosaurs.  He runs away from them, so he needs to be careful.  Especially since he likes horses"

Then Maren proceeds to call Aunt Vanessa on a play phone to tell her to keep an eye  on Hazel.  Norah picks up another play phone and calls to talk to Uncle Chris.

Hahaha.  Lessons learned on this FSF:

- Kids are so funny because my mother in law said that Maren probably heard something about dinosaurs at school (as a science teacher she said that apparently dinosaurs might have evolved to horses??) and she then took that and interpreted them to exist today - but only in Texas.  Because she loves her aunt and uncle there !!

- Chris is terrified of dinosaurs

- It's a good thing that Vanessa found Hazel, her sweet little bull dog, by some construction workers when she got ou the other day and she wasn't eaten by a Texas dinosaur....(she has a facebook post about how she got out the other day!!)

- I need to hang out with kids more; they make life a lot more interesting and pretty much hilarious....

To end this post, here are some funny pictures of Maren, Norah and Jimmy when we baby sat them a while ago that I had on my computer.  It's crazy because this was pre-Will and it's amazing how much both of them have grown up in under a year!  And how funny it is that they like to mess with Uncle Jimmy!

P.S.  Vanessa and Chris - come back to KC soon!  We continue to miss you!

Happy Friday!!!

FSF: Dog Shampoo

Ok, so our guest bathroom  You know the one that hasn't been redone?  The one that I get ready in every morning and the one that Milly and Willy get their baths in?  Yep, here it is in case you forgot...

Well Lauren used to shower in it, but since she moved out in April 2010, I can count on my hand the number of humans that have showered in it.  Yep.

1 and 2

And their names were Dave and Erica.

Dave showered one day there and came downstairs and commented on his silky, shiny hair.  We both started laughing and giggling.  I asked him what exactly he used.  When he spilled the beans, he laughed too.

Then Erica came in town last Friday night and showered before she and Andrew were off to Lincoln.  And she came down and commented on her silky, shiny hair.  I asked her if she used the Herbal Essence shampoo that I left on the counter?  Nope she said.  She used the shampoo in the shower.  And she thinks it was dog shampoo.

Yep, you read right.  She thought it was dog shampoo.

And guess what?  She was right!  Oh my gosh, what a horrible host I am.  The two people that have showered in our guest shower in the last year and a half have used DOG SHAMPOO to wash their hair!!  I even tried to prevent it with Erica by putting the people shampoo out for her, but it was a little early and I'm guessing she didn't process anything correctly.  But I'm hoping she had a really successful day entertaining her clients in Lincoln and her hair was sparkling and shiny!  For the record, I feel bad.  I do.  But it's still funny, right?

GRR!!

So there you have it for the fun story Friday.

Moral of the story: If you come to our house and want to shower.  Either (1) Bring your own shampoo or (2) Don't shower.

And that's how we roll at the Carter house.

FSF: Project mishap

Ok - so in light of a baby shower that is at my house this weekend, I decided to take on a project that I have been putting off for too long.  Painting my old craigslist china cabinet.  Since I liked spray paint when I did my chairs, I thought I would give it a try.

Here is a preview:

Ok, so that's not the funny story.  The funny story/thing was what I looked like after spray painting it with like 5 cans of spray paint outside and a mask on.  Apparently it has blown back on me and landed just in the right spot on my face to pretty much look like I had got in a fight the night before and lost :)  As I was literally getting ready to walk out the door to go to the hardware store (of course not even thinking to look in the mirror - I was working people!!), Jimmy stopped me and started laughing and then insisted that I take a picture.

So here you go:

It actually took me awhile to get the paint out of those "crevices" and actually it was in my nostrils - which is weird/disturbing and probably not good for me.  But the things I will sacrifice for a home project :)

PS Thanks Emily for reminding me!  I usually write these during the week and didn't have time this week.  But your facebook post made sure I got it in :)  If you are interested, check out Emily and her husband's fun home projects on their blog!

Happy Friday everyone!!

FSF: Anonymous "hate" messages

I decided to give Jimmy a breather this week in terms of my FSF posts making fun of him or talking about the silly things he does. Don't worry, there are plenty more......

Have you ever had a wrong number call you or text you something not-so-nice??

A friend I was having lunch with this week had a funny thing happen to him. While we were sitting at lunch he pulled out his phone and showed me that he just got 8 text message in a row from an unknown number with some "hate" messages. So random.

He told me that previously this week he had gotten 8 text messages from a number that he didn't know saying "Andrew is here" or something of the sort. He was trying to be nice and called the number back to try and let them know that they had the wrong number and really that he didn't care or want to konw if Andrew was wherever he was. After that call, they sent a text message back saying "wrong number". Then my friend just sent one back saying something like "no problem, thanks for the 8 text messages!"

A day later (while sitting at lunch with me) he gets 8 more that all say:

"I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.
I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you."

Random and hilarious if you ask me...but then I got a little disturbed wondering what "normal" person would make a mistake in sending hate messages to another person. Let along EIGHT of them in a row. Talk about hitting the send button a few too many times. As for me, I tend to lean on the "nice" side and would probably have apologized 8 times vs. profess any sort of hate/dislike towards my unsuspecting recipient! But to each his own, right!?

Have you ever been the recipient of anonymous "hate" messages? If so, I'm hoping that they were a little less aggressive than this person was!!! I feel like this is something that I would get upset about.

On that note - wishing you the HAPPIEST of all Fridays and a wonderful weekend!!!!!

FSF: Jimmy's style

And I'm back with another Fun Story Friday.  I took last week off.  Sorry I was busy trying to escape Hurricane Irene.  And to the point....

A few weekends ago, we were walking through the Home Depot right outside of downtown Kansas City in hopes to find lots of 1X4's that were 8 ft for a good price.  Now, believe it or not, I have become a savvy shopper when it comes to buying lumber, so I knew around how much I was expecting to pay.  For some odd reason, this Home Depot didn't have the cheaper version of this cut of wood (around $1.50-$1.75 each).  It was odd because all I could find was these dimensions in a pine wood or treated wood for like $3.00 each - no thanks.  I was convinced we just weren't looking hard enough, so I sent Jimmy on a hunt around the store.  In the mean time, I went and found a couple guys that worked there (remember, this is the downtown location).  They were nice, but not too helpful in that they kept taking me to the same thing I had found that was super expensive.  I found one more guy in my last attempt that started walking all the lumber aisles with me listening to me babble on and on about how I thought it was so weird they didn't have these in what I wanted.....

And that is when it happened.  Me and this worker are wondering through the aisles and Jimmy walks by about 40 ft ahead of us.  He was wearing an outfit that kind of looked like this (sad and funny at the same time that I can actually find a picture of a similar outfit....):

Yep, he was wearing his "work" outfit, which included his "work" hat, which he had to have because some guy on Man vs. Wild had it, a standard tank top like above, except this one was neon yellow and said "phi slamma jamma" (which is his fake fraternity), cut off KU gray sweat pants and...wait for it....

Work boots.  Yep, work boots with shorts.  I don't have a picture of this, so I goggled it and to my delight, some other lady took a picture of her husband working in the yard with similar work boots and swim trunks.  Haha.  I love that I found this on my first try.  Makes me feel better for posting pictures of my goofy/silly husband.

(source)

Ok, so now that you have that image in your head.....back to the point.

So anyway, Me and this worker are wondering through the aisles and Jimmy walks by about 40 ft ahead of us - and the worker catches a view of him and turns to me and goes...

Worker: "check out that clown's outfit" (he was trying to be friendly...)

Me: "Yep, that's my husband"

Worker: Horrified look.

Me: "Don't worry, he's actually normal, he just looks special today"

Worker: Laughing and taking me to the same wood pile that was wrong.

While the trip didn't end up with a successful lumber purchase and we had to go elsewhere, it made me laugh, smile, and pee my pants a little bit - and love my goofy dressed husband a little bit more.  Anyone else have stories like that about your husband/boyfriend??  And the big question is: Did you claim them or pretend you didn't know them???  (I almost did that....but he just looked too cute.....)

Happy Friday :)

*******UPDATE TO THIS POST*********
Guess what?  Jimmy saw this post and immediately demanded that I change it.  Not that he was wearing a silly outfit or not that some guy made fun of his attire.  He wanted me to get the type of boots that he was actually wearing right.  Ok, I fibbed.  He wasn't wearing golash type boots - but seriously, that picture that I found was just priceless I had to pretend, figuring the readers would just skip over that.  But Jimmy, oh no, he had to specify exactly the type of WORK boots he was wearing.  He sent me this picture to give you a better visual of what he looked like on that day (this was of course later after he departed Home Depot, lugged tons of lumber around on his bare back, did push ups (some one handed!!!) in between, a few sprint drills, and lugged around some more lumber - hence why he looked so buff all of a sudden.  He went to get a spray tan too - he was busy.  Oh, and he grew blonde hair.  It was a special day).  Thank you Jimmy for your updated contribution - I appreciate your clarification.

(source)

Enjoy.....