Here we go. Thanks to Tommy's arrival - I'm BACK. Mainly because while we are in the thick of CRAZY right now, I do know that time flies and I don't want to forget anything about this sweet little boy's arrival and his first year. And just document our crazy life in general. I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but that's the last reason I write these. I keep them for my family. So here we go --- historian mom, back in action.
First up - since I missed documenting anything about my entire fourth pregnancy - we will just start with his arrival. Which luckily, was slightly less eventful than the pregnancy. So that's good news! But little man...how incredibly ready were we to meet you! Let's start with how it was all supposed to happen. Since I had strep B again, my doctor and I decided induction would be a good course to pursue again. Maddie came FAST in the middle of the night. Mikey came faster even during induction, so we came up with a new plan and order to make sure we got the full four hours of antibiotics in. Induction was set the morning of September 7, when I was 39 weeks and 2 days. Per usual, the hospital was hopping (because we apparently only have babies when everyone else in KC is too!), so I was warned that my induction might get pushed back (like it did with Mikey). I mentally prepared for that. So when no one called me the Thursday night to confirm that we should come in, I called the charge nurse to confirm. She said someone would call me between 5-6AM to confirm for sure. Of course, I don't sleep at all because emotions are high and it's like - will I have a baby tomorrow? Will I not? So in anticipation of that....I got Freddy's the night before. Because french fries seem to fix everything! And I posted the image below on IG because patience is not my thing.
The hours of 5 and 6AM...passed and no one called. She had said to call them at 8AM if we hadn't heard. So I'm a rule follower and followed the rules. We got up and got the kids ready and had breakfast together - turns out it was the last one as a family of 5!
It was nice to not have to have our parents come over and get the kids ready and to school, so Jimmy took them off to school and I went upstairs to call the nurse a little before 8AM. Hmmmm - turns out she was a little confused as to why we weren't there yet because they had me scheduled for an induction at 7AM - they were wondering where we were. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I held my composure and explained that I never received confirmation or a call but quickly finished packing my bag and waited for Jimmy to get home to tell him that we were in fact: HAVING A BABY TODAY!
I snapped my LAST bump picture (EVER!). And we headed to the hospital!
Luckily, we got an awesome nurse. I mentioned the confusion and she said they figured we were late because we already had three kids. HA. I'm like, lady - we can run late, but I do NOT run late to things like HAVING A FREAKING BABY.
We had already discussed changing the order of things. Which instead of breaking my water first thing (which is what we did with Mikey and things went fast!), we were going to start the IV and antibiotics and then wait a bit. So we got those things going and then she decided to check me. HELLO - I was already dilated to 5cm. WHAT? Yes, I have no idea because I didn't really feel much. Whereas when I came in with Maddie in the middle of the night, I was dilated to 6cm and was in so much pain. Odd, but I did skip my 39 week appointment that Wednesday prior...so maybe I had progressed? Who knows. Anyways, we were really happy we hadn't broken my water yet or started pitocin first thing!
Then we wait. And wait. Four long hours. Luckily, you can have coffee with sweetener, so Jimbo got me some of that and we waited some more. I kept naturally progressing, so I decided to call the miracle worker - aka the epidural person. They came in, gave it to me and it was bad, but nothing I hadn't experienced before. Then my doctor came in around lunch time to break my water because the first round of antibiotics were done and we started another one.
This time is always so weird to me! Because I'm in labor, but have drugs. Like I feel stuff, but not really...so it's just like hanging out. Needless to say, Jimmy spent most of his time writing in the baby play book and ordering my hospital meals for me - because legit that is one of his favorite things about having babies. Ha. He's weird.
Around 3PM, my parents came up to see me and the nurse kept saying - I think this is going to progress fast because we started the pitocin and boy was she right! Around 3:15, she checked me and it was GO TIME. My doctor was called right away because I historically have these babies pretty fast. Prior to her arrival, I randomly asked the nurse how they knew that the baby's face was down and not up. I have no idea why I asked this - but it was for sure foreshadowing! HA. She told me they can tell by feeling their head when they check me. Welllll....
My doctor comes in, she reminds me of how to push and we start. I pushed SO hard. My epidural was GREAT - in that I could feel just enough to know when I needed to push but not too much to be in pain. Love those doctors!! But I kept pushing. And to put this in perspective, my other kids came out FAST. Even my first one. Like I'm talking I didn't push any longer than 20 minutes with any of them. So we all assumed this kid would just "fall out" because #fourthkid.
WELLLLL (again)...turns out he WAS in fact face up. So yes, in between pushing, I asked 11,000 questions about (A) why was I pushing so hard and nothing seemed to be happening - apparently it's because it takes them longer to come out face up (aka sunny side up aka occiput posterior) and (B) it also means their shoulder have to come out a totally different way and they could have to have a broken collar bone. And overall, it usually takes a bit longer and could potentially mean intervention through forceps or vacuum. Luckily I had done ZERO research on this - so I just kept pushing as hard as I could. And I mean HARD. My nurse was like "it this baby was face down, it would be three rooms over...!!!" and believe me, I felt like it afterwords because my arms and legs were SORE for days!! But luckily, 30 minutes later at 4:04PM...our sweet baby boy arrived!
And he was HUGE. Like I'm talking almost 10lbs huge. 9 lb and 13 oz of LOVE.
I cannot even tell you how excited I was to see this guy. I started to get worried mid-pushing that something was going to happen to him or me...so when he came out all in one piece and was healthy, mama relief sets in. Then the LOVE begins. And the name game. We never decide what our kiddos names are - mainly because we cannot agree. So we ended up coming to an agreement on this:
Thomas James Carter
(aka Tommy)
Oh my word. This little chub of love.
And then one of the best parts post delivery - getting to EAT. And hold baby. And try to feed him. And EAT some more. And snuggle some more.
By late dinner, we were moved into our recovery room and his grunting began! I was so nervous because that is why Mikey went to the NICU for potential respiratory issues. Our amazing L&D nurse ended up staying 4 hours after her shift was over to finish delivery with us and make sure we got settled into our room - and told me SKIN TO SKIN! So I didn't take that kid off of me. And luckily, his constant grunting did decrease and we avoided that NICU stay!
The next morning, our whole crew came up before swim lessons to meet their new brother!!! We had talked to them the night before via Facetime and to say they were excited to meet him was an understatement!!! He was getting circumcised when they came in, so of course they were anxiously awaiting his arrival...and it was pure sweetness of sibling love when he came back!
And we got our first picture as a family of SIX. So fitting this picture!!!
I mean LOOK at that love. They are obsessed.
Was happy to see these kids - and they were happy to get the weird gifts they requested from their newest brother. Maddie got a squishy pie (?).
Let's just say that getting a picture of our crew - was not easy...nor will it ever be!
Overall, I completely forgot what it's like to not sleep. And forgot what those damn drugs do to me. But it was a good and quiet weekend with our littlest man. Jimmy watched a LOT of football and Tommy and I did a lot of snuggling. And we did finally get decent at calling him baby Tommy - it's hard with so many boys!!!
While he was our BIGGEST babe...he still seemed so little!
The last night, I had to get up and walk around. So we went for a stroll!
Then Sunday morning came and luckily our pediatrician and OB came in to see us EARLY! And were ready to bust out by lunch time.
And on our way out...we got to stop by and see my friend and coworker, Amy, and her new baby boy Jax who was born just the day after Tommy was!!!! It was fun to be pregnant with her and it's going to be even more fun to have these babes together!
When we got home....all I wanted was STEAK. So that's what we had.
And then the next morning was Monday --- and the fun began (and all the coffee) with this little booger. How adorable are sleeping babies?
Overall, so so thankful for a good labor and that we are both happy and healthy. And REALLY happy my induction didn't get pushed because pretty sure he would have been over 10 lbs. And goodness sake, he was big enough for me. I'm writing this and he's just over a month old and those first few days/weeks were a BLUR! While he slept a ton, in a house with three other kiddos - there is always something to do! But feeling so much love with this sweet boy in our house. Lucky he is ours and his brothers and sister are OVER the moon with him!!!
Am I sad it's my last baby? A little - but not enough to want to do it again. Four is the perfect number for us, I can already tell, and I'm embracing every "last" and "first" that comes with our final addition with this sweet little man!
I sat in the hospital room on July 21, 2016, as we were getting ready to take Mikey home. It had been a LONG few days. Getting up early to get to the hospital on July 19, having our sweet boy and then spending a night in the NICU, finally having his siblings meet and hold him....Jimmy and I were sitting there with our new little bundle of joy. I looked at him and said "can you believe this time next year that we are going to have a ONE, THREE and FIVE year old?".
And here we are now on July 29, 2017. Charlie is going to be FIVE years old on Monday. Maddie turned THREE on July 4 and our sweet little baby that was 9lbs on the dot when he made his way into the world, turned ONE on July 19 and weighs a whole 23lbs.
And you know what? I can't believe how this last year flew by. But I also can't believe how our sweet family just feels so right. And how this sweet baby boy brought so much happiness to our family.
I have this weird feeling of being completely overjoyed with happiness and then completely overwhelmed about three different times a day. HA. Totally normal, right? I think that life with three kids and two full time jobs will do that to you.
So here I go. Ready to finally blog about my three sweet baby's birthdays. And relishing all the feelings I had when this picture was taken last July.
Today, the big kids and I spent the day together because their school was closed for teacher inservice and my work was closed because it's President's Day.
They got to go to dad's work in the morning because I had to run Mikey to the doctor for his second flu shot at 8:45 and (A) didn't want to take all three kids and (B) OMG so many germs. I'm so glad Charlie and Maddie didn't come. Plus they got to drink hot chocolate and color on the white board! That's super fun!
After that, I went and got them and we took Mikey back to day care and we ran to Target.
Which, of course, I forgot all the things I actually went for and ended up getting them both some new shampoo (??) and some random St. Patrick's day things to hang on the windows. I love Target - but that is precisely why I don't go there that often.
When we were checking out - I told them to smile. This is what I got. These kids - both can't smile ever at the same time!! Ha!
But then what was even funnier...I was scrolling through my IG pictures and looking for one from a LONG time ago (more on why later...) and found this gem. This was taken at Costco in September 2015. So Maddie would have been like 15 months and Charlie a little over 3. I love that I did the same collage because it's crazy to see how much they have grown up and changed ---- but how they are still just as silly and love each other just as much.
TIME FLIES. It's crazy. Because I look at them and while I know they are not these babes anymore, it feels like they still could me. I can't wait for all the fun to come with these two - and Mikey now that he's in the mix!!!
Here it goes. One of those really vulnerable posts. I feel like I have a lot of them in my head throughout the week, but just not the time or energy to write them down and share. But this is one I want to remember. And I'm guessing whoever still reads this blog (sorry I have sucked at posting lately!!!), might relate as well.
As mentioned in my post yesterday, we moved the older kiddos preschool last Monday. I'm not sure if it was the move and the fact that they did well at school and needed an outlet at home - because they have kind of gone crazy (it could have been the crazy moon too....) - like crazy as in they don't want to sleep at night. I can do one wake up a night and hang with my normal schedule of work, working out, etc. (usually Mikey, but sometimes just one of them). But three + a night? UM...no. Can't hang. At all. It's been like a circus at night between the three kids rooms - and 4 nights this week, I've fallen asleep in Maddie or Charlie's room and some hours later, Jimmy ends up in one of their rooms with Mikey in hand tapping me on the shoulder because Mikey wants to eat.
Yes, yes. I love being the mom of three. Jimmy loves being the dad of three. There really is nothing better. But some weeks. UGH. It's hard.
This morning, everyone was up super early. I haven't been feeling too great and Jimmy and I ended up going to bed at 8:30 last night. It was another whirlwind night with Maddie and Mikey and then when I was feeding Mikey at 5:20, hopeful to get him back to sleep so I could snooze some more...and Charlie walked in Mikey's room, ready to take on the day. And while I love him and love that he came in and gave me and Mikey both a kiss....I wanted to scream GO BACK TO SLEEP. Ha.
At 6:00, Maddie was up and I finally gave in and took them downstairs and finished addressing our Valentine's Day cards. Jimmy decided that we should all go to breakfast. Which is just crazy in itself, but I obliged. And we went. When we got there - it was terrible. Like Maddie non-stop screaming. Charlie whining. Mikey was perfect - because that's him. But the other two. We just looked at each other - both with this beat down look. Like THIS IS OUR LIFE. In the midst of the screaming, a couple was even seated right next to us and then got up and asked for another table. We were that family this morning.
Maddie wasn't having it and Jimmy took her outside so it was just me and the boys for about 15 min. This older couple came and got a big table in the middle - 8 chairs at it. They told the waitress they needed a sling and a high chair. They were just talking and looking at the menu - sat there just by themselves for about 10 minutes before I noticed them. They weren't phased by our craziness and looked over a few times at us and smiled, but mainly just chatted and looked around the restaurant looking for someone a few times. Then I watched the lady get up and go to the door where a couple with their baby were walking in (I assume it was her son and daughter in law and their granddaughter). She immediately grabbed her granddaughter and held her, smiling and laughing. Slowly but surely, another (assumed) daughter came in with her older son and then another couple (guessing her daughter) with their looked like 2.5 year old son came in and sat down. Just like that, the chairs were filled. Their family was laughing, talking to one another, smiling. Cousins were talking and all was well.
I have no idea who these people are. But I was watching them and tears welled up in my eyes. Because I can imagine that one day, many years ago, they were us. With their three kids. They were tired, worn down, trying to make it all work. Trying to keep up a good marriage and love one another; trying to keep up with work and their household. Making sure they were loving each of their kids equally and making them know day in and day out they were loved - but also instill that level of discipline they need to know right from wrong. Their house wasn't always clean nor was their laundry always done. But I imagine that they were happy, even in survival mode. And that while it was crazy, there was a part of them that just loved all the crazy. And they blinked - and here they are, with kids that are all grown up, married off and with kids of their own. And that sat there waiting in anticipation for a crazy and chaotic Saturday morning breakfast. Because while they do love their quiet Saturday mornings with just the two of them, what they wouldn't give some days to be back in our shoes. Hopping in bed with any given kid when they want you to snuggle them. Snuggling up on the couch for movie night - even though it's the same movie they've seen over and over again. Folding a million little bitty clothes each week and making dinners for hungry mouths - even though it's usually never eaten. Kissing their adorable little toddler bellies and laughing at their crazy antics. And hearing them say "I love you" for no reason at all.
I looked at them, thinking about that being us in 20 or 25 years. Setting up a Saturday morning breakfast date with our family. You know, sending a text to Maddie, Charlie and Mikey (or their wives - I can't even think about that right now!), mid-week saying "hey - do you guys want to get together for a breakfast date?! On us!". And after a quiet week at home with just Jimmy and me, being so excited to have a little bit of crazy back in our lives. With our three kids and their family's.
While there are days that I think we are nuts. That life is crazy. And it's going to get even crazier as our three get older and if we choose/are blessed with another one....but these are the days. Each day is a blessing. And while I know we will be so thankful we are out of these days someday, I'm afraid to blink because I feel like if I do - I'll be that adorable couple at the breakfast place on Saturday morning, so anxious to see their kids and grandkids and life will have passed us by so quickly.
So here is my honest opinion about my life right now. I'm soaking it in. All of it. With little sleep and a whole lotta crazy. Because these are truly the days, whether we like it or not and each day is such a blessing to be alive with my beautiful children and amazing husband.
Ok - done. Between this morning and all the feels and watching This is Us on DVR from Tuesday night....Saturday emotions have got me all like 😍😍😍
But you better believe we are taking our kids for a grandparents sleepover RIGHT when they wake up from their nap. Because while I love them to pieces - when an offer like that comes up to just have the baby after this week - SIGN ME UP! Ha.
Have you ever said "why me"? When something doesn't go your way? Your day doesn't turn out like you think it should? If you believe in God, maybe you've even demanded from him - "WHY ME?!".
I have done it and I'm sure you have too.
But ever since I saw this sweet momma post about her baby boy yesterday in need of extra prayers - the concept of "why me" has been weighing on my heart. And she has. And this sweet boy. The whole situation. Now I don't know Annie personally, but she was at K-State the same time that I was and we have lots of mutual friends. I have been following her journey for awhile now with her sweet son Jonah. Stories like this in general tug at my heart, but the fact that Jonah is a five year old boy...and I have an almost five-year-old boy...and Annie is my age and went to college with me, when I see her posts about him, I read them all. I read them hard. Every word she posts, I read with thought and compassion. It sounds kind of weird and maybe even more weird that I'm posting this because I don't know them personally - but their family is one that I cannot get out of my mind lately with the recent turn of events. She had been able to finally post better news lately. That his treatment was seeming to work and was getting better. I was so thankful. For her, for him, for his whole family. I prayed to God and thanked him many times because as a fellow mom, my heart aches for her.
And then I saw this post yesterday.
The full message from Jonah's mom, Annie:
You are not going to believe our night. Well, you will because it's us and I'm only telling you because Jonah is better now. Jonah got a biopsy of his neck yesterday and he did not recover well. I'm not sure what happened but the disturbance of the cancer cells somehow ignited an infection(?)/ I don't get it/ some how caused his blood pressure to go too low, and create a significant need for oxygen, and make him breathe harder and run a fever and need a blood transfusion. The team of docs and nurses that rushed to our room did as much for him as they could on the oncology floor before the PICU docs came up and decided he was better off THERE. Once there, literally once we got in the PICU room, Jonah woke up and started talking and being Jonah to the relief of everyone. Blood pressure normal, holding oxygen. He continued to stay up all night watching the Disney Channel.
In addition, the second scan he had yesterday showed more cancer than we knew about. Jonah lit up in several small places all over is body(even his legs) and his bone marrow too.
So, last night we were prepared to accept that this was Jonah's time. Aaron called for the priest and told the family they better get down here to FW. But God didn't take Jonah and he could have easily; the cancer has spread and is in his bone marrow and he's facing more treatment ahead. All God had to do was stop Jonah's overworking heart. But, he didn't.
I've been very angry at God for not saving us from this relentless nightmare. But I wonder today if I've been wrong about him, that he is helping. Did God urge me to look at Jonah's neck? If not, we wouldn't have known for weeks the cancer had spread and wouldn't be starting treatment so soon. And, did God save Jonah last night? He had to of, right?
The priest came today to pray with us, pray for the next treatment, and give Jonah his last rites (just incase.) I told him what I told you and he said, "God's got a plan for him. God's time isn't like our time."
Will you please add Jonah to your church prayer lists? And petition Saint Peregrine, the patron saint of cancer patients?
I don't know if we have 7 days or 70 years. But I accept either outcome.
I tear up every time I read this. What amazing strength she has. I have read it each time someone I now shared it on facebook. Over and over again wondering if I was in that situation - could I do it? But don't we all wonder that? When we see stories on the news or social media about family's that are suffering - I often think "WHY THEM"? One of my dear friends has a brother in law in his mid-20s that just got diagnosed with testicular cancer and is currently going through chemo - WHY THEM? Someone's family member died too early - either from a tragic accident or a horrific disease. WHY THEM? A close friend lost her baby to a super rare disease- WHY THEM?
I even go the crazy mom route (I'm guessing this is normal - but just not talked about..if it's not, then just ignore I said this ;)) - but I lay in bed at night with my kids holding them or rocking them...over and over thanking God that they are healthy. That they are at home. And I even wonder WHY ME? Why did I get so lucky to have these kids? So many others either struggle to have kids or the kids that they have get stupid cancer. So WHY ME?
It just struck me - while Annie might be wondering WHY ME all the time, she finds strength in Him through this journey she is on. When you read her words, I can just feel when she typed them that she is confident that God had a plan for her sweet boy. And that plan did not include leaving this place yesterday. She doesn't know when, but He does. And all she can do is trust and pray and hope and love.
I posted this so you will pray for Jonah. That you will pray for Annie. Pray for their family (she is pregnant also - so lots of prayers for that as well!). I truly believe that every single prayer is heard, no matter if it's 10 seconds or 10 minutes. Pray for Jonah's healing. Pray for his comfort. Pray for his strength. They can use them all.
I also posted this because while I don't know this brave mama personally, I can't stop thinking how in following her journey how much I have learned from her. A person I follow on the internet - this world is a crazy place. What I learned from her is something I need to remember as a mom, friend, daughter, sister, wife, etc. - all I can do is trust and pray and hope and love. Every day. Not to wonder about the negative things and be thankful for the positive ones. And that's exactly what I'm going to continue to do. And even though I will allow myself a "WHY ME" every once and a while, I will push through that and focus on what I can control and leave God in control of what He controls.
Follow along Jonah's journey with the hashtag #makejonahglow
Hi. And ummmm....I'm sorry for my unintended blog absence. I'm attributing the whole thing to the fact that when I upgraded my iPhone, the blogger app that I used to write random posts on my phone when I had time doesn't work. What the heck?!!! Does anyone that uses blogger know of any apps that still work? They said when I googled it that they stopped updating the official blogger one, hence why it doesn't work. And I get stressed out switching this whole thing to wordpress.
Anyways, I was cleaning out this cute babe's drawers of hi 0-3 and 3 month clothes and replacing with the 6 - 9 month clothes from his brother. And btw - it's so fun having skipped a gender with a kid because it makes it SO FUN to open up these bins and see all these cute clothes that I used to dress Charlie in. Oh and...I did a WHOLE lot of shopping for 6 month clothes. And not so much 9 month. Weird.
Ok onto the point. What I realized when I was putting away all his clothes (besides crying because seriously - how is he growing so fast!?!?) was that I literally didn't use all of the cute hand me down pajamas. He has worn only 2 pajamas in his almost 4 months of life. And both were gifts from people to him - not hand me downs.
Why and how is this??
He doesn't wear pajamas to bed.
Because I'm a lazy mom.
Or am I just a smart mom?
Who knows - but let me let you in on my secret.
All we have are the little half shirt things from the hospital (FREE - especially after you have been hoarding them with all 3 kids!) and like 3 of the half shirt things that are from Carter's. He wears one of those every night and a swaddle. He was OK with the swaddler things (we have like 100 of them and conveniently both my older children hated them), but then I discovered this and BONUS. I never have to unswaddle him and make that loud and obnoxious RRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP sound of velcro in the middle of the night.
You know when the baby is like half awake and half asleep and you have to change their diaper (because #stinkypoop) and the minute you rip their eyes pop wide open and they want to party?
Oh yeah, I kind of remember that from Maddie but not from Mikey - because I literally refuse to use the swaddle + pajamas. Especially snap ones at night. No thank you. I'm a zipper mom. But those damn zippers are at the top of the PJs and the swaddle comes up from the bottom. Completely doesn't make sense to me. Let's get some engineer mamas designing these things!
So here is what my sweet boy still wears every night.
Free hospital shirt.
Swaddle (we are currently going both arms out too!)
That's it. And here is the Carter's ones we have that we got from a baby shower with Charlie.
You guys. Am I the only person that does this? While I LOVE baby's in pajamas just like the rest of us...the fact that my kids are all July/summer babies doesn't help because I always feel like the 100 degree temps make it too hot for PJs when they are little and then by that point, they are too big for the cute 0-3 month ones.
This is not rocket science, I swear. I'm really just lazy. But Jimmy thinks I'm crazy to keep doing this and is like whining that Mikey is never in pajamas at night. I'm all like - then you get up with him when he wakes up! HA. (Luckily that hasn't been too often, but I think we are on the brink of a 4 month sleep regression, so I'm bracing myself!).
But just for fun - here's a picture of him from each of his pajama wears. They are so so so cute! Just not at 2AM. So we wear during the day instead.
Is there anything "weird" that you do as a mom? Out of the norm? Please please share!
Ok finally - now that he's 3.5 months old (OMG seriously?) I decide to sit down and blog about his birthday...and the days leading up to it. I actually thought I would get around to posting this when he was 5 weeks old and thought that was bad....but I guess 3.5 months old might be a little worse. But here we go!!! Just so you know, because as a third kid, he had to make sure we knew he was here and here to stay (that's what the doctor's told us - haha!). You can find Maddie's birth story here and Charlie's here.
The beginning of project "evict Mikey" began at my 38 week check up. I was dilated to a 2. I had Strep B (again - had with Maddie). I also had 3 kids at home and knowing how freaking fast my labor went with Maddie, I was a little panicky thinking about having this baby at home or on the side of the road. I love my doctor and she heard my concerns and was like - yep, agree. We need to get you in the hospital at a scheduled time so we can ensure you get the 4 hours of antibiotics in you before birth (which I didn't get with Maddie). So that was it. She said, "What are you doing next Friday (July 15)? Let's have a BABY!".
To say I was relieved was an understatement. While I did kind of like the excitement in going into labor with Maddie, it was so nice to know that there was an end in sight to being pregnant AND knowing when I was going to meet this baby - especially because I was so anxious at this point to know if it was a boy or girl! So the countdown was on. She said to not go into my scheduled 39 week check up because we were having a baby at 39 weeks and 1 day. So I skipped my check up that Wednesday and Thursday I was SO excited. Last day of work. Last day of being pregnant this time. And ready to meet this baby. I had Jimmy take my last (or so I thought..) bump picture, grabbed bagels for my department and headed into work in the BEST mood.
The kiddos had their summer carnival after school that Thursday, Maddie had gymnastics and I was planning on having a one on one date with Charlie to go see the Secret Life of Pets. It was going to be a great night. I went a little early to the kids school. They jumped in the bounce house. We ate ice cream. Maddie went nuts and Charlie was ready to leave - but Jimmy wasn't there yet. I was losing my mind so we just went to the car to watch a movie in there and wait for Jimmy. Well, at 5:15PM, he still wasn't there. And I got a phone call. It was the hospital. While, yes, I was set to come in at 7AM for my induction...there was a wait list. YES - a freaking wait list. That's what I get for having a baby in the busiest months of the year AND during the KC World Series baby boom. The nurse told me that someone would call me at 5am and let me know if I should come in or not.
You can only imagine the devastation I felt. I know how some people have their own opinions about scheduled inductions--- but for REAL don't tell a 39 week pregnant mama that she's going to have her baby...and then untell her. That's just cruel and I think we can all agree on that.
Of course 3am gets here and I can't sleep anticipating that call (and we had to let my MIL know because she was going to come and take Charlie and Maddie to school). Finally at 5:30am Friday morning I just called a random number at the hospital and finally made it to the L&D charge nurse who told me to not come in and just wait. Seriously. I hung up and started bawling. Realizing there was potential I wasn't going to meet this babe today. Wasn't going to find out if I was having a daughter or son.
Since they told me to still not eat in the off chance they were able to get me in still (which is true torture in itself because I was starving 24/7 at that point), I went back to sleep after taking Charlie and Maddie to school. Jimmy was working from home and came to check on me lots. Then around 10:15- the call came. There was no room and they called my doctor and we are rescheduling to TUESDAY. Like in four days. The nurse hung up the phone and told me to "have a good weekend". And then I sobbed...because I was still going to be insanely pregnant and uncomfortable in the 100 degree July heat for 4 more days and I wasn't going to be holding my baby in the hospital this weekend.
Emotionally, I was spent. Especially after I told everyone and their mom that we were having a baby on Friday. Answering texts with people checking in, etc was so hard for me for some reason too. I am not a huge emotional person but I was that day. Man was I. I was sad. So sad. Sad because I wasn't going to meet my baby like I had mentally prepared for but also then mad at end feeling sorry for myself because really it wasn't the worst thing in the world and guess what I still had a healthy baby in me. Like was it ok to be sad and feel these emotions??
Jimmy picked me up and we went to the grocery store and out to eat spicy Chinese food (didn't work)...
...then I sat on the porch eating pineapple (another theory)...
Didn't work.
Saturday I dragged my sulking butt out of bed and tried to have a good last weekend with my two kids. We went to Deanna rose and I almost died of heat exhaustion but it was a good weekend (read about that here),
Sunday night rolled around and I had a ton of pressure. Like enough I didn't want to sit down. Jimmy swears that's what I said before I went to bed the night I went into labor with Maddie. I knew it wasn't intense contractions but called the doctor just in case. When the doctor on call called back we talked through my symptoms and when she found out this was my third baby, she said better safe than sorry to go check it out. Apparently she had a patient recently that it was her third too and she waited too long and delivered the baby in the car...which just to get that cleaned was an enormous chunk of cash so she said just go.
Yes, I do not want to have a baby in my car for multiple reasons. So we called my mom (kids were asleep) and told her this might be it!!!
And then I took my last picture pregnant (spoiler - I didn't have the baby, but this was the last picture I took pregnant!):
Oh wait....did that make it seem like I had the baby. lol. I didn't- sorry to trick you. But it was nothing. I was having contractions but no further progress from my 38 week appointment because I was still a two!!
Not going to lie- I was super bummed.
Back home with no baby in hand. Not a fun feeling - especially when it's your THIRD baby and all I'm terrified about is the baby coming too early and too fast!
Monday, we were up and took the kids off to school. I'm so thankful that Jimmy has a flexible job and was able to work from home because he stayed home with me on Monday and we ran some errands, I caught up on my blog posts I had been meaning to write and we just hung out. Evict baby #3 was going to happen Tuesday morning - it was scheduled!!
HA.
Guess what? We went to go get our kiddos from daycare at the same time we do every day. When we got back into our car...I looked at my phone and I literally couldn't believe it. The hospital had called and left a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail and started bawling instantly. It was the nurse and I was on the wait list again. AGAIN. How is that possible? The voicemail left a number this time and she told me call back at 9PM for an update. I was so upset. This couldn't be happening again!!! I knew that it wasn't realistic to think that there would be an update in 4 hours (as they didn't know who would be coming into the hospital). I was not happy. We put our older kids to bed and I laid down in bed. At 9PM, I called and no news - but she did say I was first on the wait list....so I had that going for me. Talk about a rough night of sleep. I really think that Jimmy might have been more terrified to see the wrath of 9 month pregnant Brittany if tomorrow wasn't the day then I was about hearing if we were going to be able to go in.
And GUESS WHAT?? At 5:15AM - my phone rang. We both popped up out of bed and the most wonderful nurse in the world told me - you're going to have a BABY today! 7AM!
O.M.G. Best news ever.
I texted my MIL, who was coming over to take the older kids to school and was just over the moon. And then we made our kids guess (and apparently give their two cents on the name...). They were obviously super interested in me!
However, I was a bit skeptical still and told Jimmy I wouldn't believe it until I was in the bed and hooked up - then they couldn't kick me out!
When we got to the hospital, another girl that had my doctor was there getting ready to be induced as well (yes, I did judge her because she didn't have any of the pre-paperwork filled out - I'm horrible, but seriously, I almost forgot to do all that but am so happy I did!). On our way to the room, we saw a familiar face! The nurse that delivered Maddie two years ago - and guess what? She was going to be our nurse for baby #3! (Side story - she actually went to high school with me and was a few years younger. She found me on facebook after I had Maddie and I love that we have been facebook friends and I've seen her have her sweet little girl after hearing about her struggles with infertility! I had messaged her telling her when I was scheduled to come in - she has the same OB as me - and she said she was on call that day....so I was thrilled to see her and hear she was our nurse!).
Once we got to the room, everything was so fast. It cracked me up. Like an old pro I guess? I got undressed, gown on, in the bed, hooked up to the machine and the antibiotics for Strep B started going. At 7:45AM, my doctor walked in to say hi. She said, I'm going to break your water and then you should probably get an epidural because I'm guessing this is going to be fast. So by 8AM, my water was broken and the call for the drugs had been made. My sneaky (and awesome) nurse had apparently already started the pitocin drip, so that explains why i was starting to feel contractions and they HURT!! Just in time, the miracle worker (aka anesthesiologist) came and got me my epidural. By that time - I'm guessing it was like 9:00ish?
My parents came in to say hi and chat and pass the time. At this point, it was just a waiting game. I wasn't in pain but still be monitored. I was super uncomfortable just sitting there but knew it would be over soon enough. I couldn't deliver until after 11:45 regardless because the medicine needed to be in me for 4 hours and we started it at 7:45AM.
At 10:15AM, she decided to check me and yep, I was at an 8.5!! My doctor was correct this was going to be fast! My nurse is hilarious and said "you cannot have this baby for another hour and a half....so I'm turning of the pitocin and you shut your legs and wait!". Yes, I love her. And I did just that.
And then when the completely surreal part happens. When someone tells you...it's literally time to have a baby. While that is a small statement, it's literally life changing to us. I was so excited - I really thought I was going to have a girl, but after the kiddos guessed that morning it was a boy - I had no idea. Since my nurse knew how fast Maddie came, she said she wasn't going to have me push with her and she was just going to wait and have the doctor in the room the whole time. So after 11:45 came, my doctor walked in about 11:55 and then the pushing with contractions began because I was a 10!
And 25 minutes later, at 12:20PM - we got to meet our sweet baby BOY!!! I was literally in shock. For multiple reasons. A) he came in like 3 pushes B) it was a HE!!!!!!! Jimmy was supposed to announce the gender (in my head it was going to be some grand thing...). But then when she lifted him up, his junk was right in my face so DUH and I just said "it's a boy!!!" and I also said C) "Hes' HUGE" because he literally looked like a 3 month old when was born. I couldn't believe it!! He was the cutest big boy newborn I had ever seen. And just like that, I got to hold my sweet baby boy!!
I held him while the doctor did her work (ugh, I mean it's bad enough you have to carry the baby, push the baby out - which that part is magical - but the aftermath part...gross). He was a little loud and making some grunting noises, but I didn't mind. Plus Jimmy pulled through and got me a Jimmy John's beach club. Because momma was #starving.
In the midst of coming to terms that we had another son and were parents of three kiddos now....we had to come up with a name. It would have been easy if he was a girl because we had actually had a civil conversation about a girl's name and were pretty much in agreement. But of course, this baby was a boy and we had a list of 7 names we "kind of" liked. If you didn't know, we aren't name people. We each had a name we loved with Charlie and Maddie and ended up meeting in the middle with both. So I'm going to say this here - I wasn't in love with either of my kid's names when we first named them!! Nope...I had other favorites (Luke for Charlie and Caroline for Maddie). But guess what? I LOVE their names now and they are traditional enough that I know they will carry well with them through life and their suit both of their personalities just perfect. So I refused to stress over it all. I knew we would come up with something.
And then just like that - with no discussion at all - Jimmy says, "What do you think about Michael Eugene?". I thought about it and said I wasn't in love with it, but I liked it. I think it suited him and we could call him Mikey.
Yep, that was it. Nothing to grand about it. But that's also just how we roll these days. The biggest debate we had in there was "Mikey" or "Mikie" spelling. Obviously, we went with the first. But that was it. Jimmy has a brother named Michael and we also have a mutual friend with that name. Eugene is Jimmy's grandpa's middle name. And it was great. Charlie, Maddie and Mikey were all ours. (told you it was very simple!)
Dad and Mikey!
I'm not going to lie - Jimmy and I still talk about how weird the next part of the day was. So you get 2 hours in the delivery room after the baby is born before you have to move to the recovery room. But unlike after our other two kiddos were born, they didn't whisk him away right away to get a bath and get measured. He just laid on my chest and all the nurses went on their merry way. We both commented on how odd it was. When one nurse came in, we asked why they hadn't weighed or bathed him and she said that they wanted to see if he would stop grunting by himself - I guess that giving them a bath doesn't help to stop that. So then the two hour window came and they had to hustle. Lots more nurses came in and they finally took his measurements (after he pooped on me and then peed and pooped on the nurse - oops!).
So after much excitement of sharing our news with family and friends via text and phone...we headed to our room. But the bad news was, this new little Mikey would not stop grunting. They were very worried about his breathing and I started to get the feeling that it wasn't good when the nurses brought the nurse practitioner down to talk to me. She said she would give him 30 minutes and was going to call our pediatrician, but there were a number of reasons the grunting concerned her and one was that he could potentially have trouble breathing longer term. After she called our pediatrician, just like that my sweet boy was whisked off to the NICU and Jimmy went along. And I was left there alone. I'm not going to lie. I was so so upset. It just so happened that Jimmy's cousin's wife had a baby the day before and his aunt decided to pop in at that moment and say hi. I completely lost it and bawled like a baby that they just took my baby away because this was not how I imagined it happening.
So many emotions as a new mama regardless of how many times you do this. Oh man!
Luckily, my parents showed up soon after with Charlie and Maddie. However, Maddie was #notpleased when she walked in the door and immediately said "where's the baby?!" in her sassy voice. My sweet boy, Charlie, of course ran up to me to see how I was first. So funny how different they were. I texted Jimmy and he said absolutely not to bring them up right now because Mikey was getting the IV at the time. But could soon.
And there we were. Sitting in my hospital room with my parents trying to keep our older two kids entertained and to not destroy my hospital room...while I sat in bed just a few hours earlier given birth and so sad because my boy wasn't right by my side.
However, I will say that having other kids who are looking for your loving makes you pull yourself out of any hole I was going into. I told them we would see him soon, while Jimmy kept us updated. And then he said "You can come up!" and my sister pushed me in a wheel chair upstairs to see our little baby boy, Mikey!
And there was our first picture as a family of 5. And it was perfect. Because while they weren't sure what was going on with Mikey yet, our family was all together.
Big brother and big sister wanted to touch him and love on him SOOOOO badly! And he was by far the biggest baby in the NICU topping the scale at 9lbs at birth.
After our two older kiddos went home with my parents, we braced ourselves for the first night, unsure of what exactly that would look like. Mikey had nursed for a while when he was first born (even though I wasn't supposed to let him - oops). But since he was in the NICU and hooked up to an IV, that meant I already had to start pumping. So just like clockwork, I would pump every 3 hours and take the little tubes of colostrum up to his room, where Jimmy was with Mikey. Looking back on this, it's crazy because I do think that in the end it really helped with the Mikey/dad bonding because with our other two, it was all mom/baby time. Jimmy stayed up there like the amazing dad he was, talking to the nurses, getting updates from the doctors, etc. Everything was checking out good - all the Xray's and blood tests showed now issues, which was great news. At one point, Jimmy suggested to the night nurse to roll him on his side and there was lots of fluid that he spit out - likely extra fluids that weren't pushed out of him because he came down the birth canal so fast.
Daddy and his second baby boy!
This was the comfy bed in Mikey's NICU room that Jimmy slept on. He might have been a little too tall :)
I made several trips upstairs overnight to visit him and hold him - and then around 9AM on Wednesday morning, Jimmy texted me and said - "don't pump! They think he's ready to try and eat". YEAH!! So I headed upstairs to see if he would nurse again and he did great. So after that, they slowly started to decrease his IV fluids...until around 3PM Wednesday afternoon when they said he was ready to come off it completely because all his blood sugar levels before and after feedings were coming back great. YEAH Mikey!
I was elated to bring him back to my room AND the fact that he was going to get to go home with me when it was time for me to leave the hospital. Before we left the NICU, I said so many prayers for all the babies and family's that were still up there. Man, only having him away from me for 36 hours was hard enough as a new mama - I'm tearing up now thinking about all those babies that are born so early and spend months and months in the NICU. The nurses were amazing, the doctors were amazing and those babies and parents are rock stars. Looking back, I'm thankful for our short stint, as it gave me perspective of a different side - that I'm happy I didn't have to spend much time on - however, organizations like March of Dimes have a whole new meaning to me.
When Mikey made it downstairs, we finally got a picture of the 5 of us. And it was perfect. Because right here - I'm so so filled with love. Giving birth is just the most amazing thing ever. There are no words that I can come up with to describe the feeling of having a baby and loving it and seeing your older kids love it as well. So so blessed and so so thankful for these four wonderful humans that I'm lucky enough to call my family.
After that, it felt like a regular, old hospital visit. You know, when you feel like shit because the after-birth stuff is no fun...but then at the same time, so happy because you have this little baby that is just perfect.
We had to hustle to get all the "normal" hospital stuff done that Thursday before we checked out. Had to do the hearing test, get the circumcision done and of course, the hospital birth pictures. Oh and the most important part - the birth certificate! At least this time they didn't put Michael Eugene Michael (they put Carter Francis Carter on Charlie's!!).
But look at this adorable baby boy.
It's a BOY!
Can I tell you how excited I was to go home? SOOOOO excited. Mainly because I was ready to just have this baby in my arms nonstop. And he was sooooo tiny compared to my other two toddlers (even though he was the biggest baby of the 3!)
We got home that Thursday afternoon with a healthy and adorable baby. And we couldn't have been more happy.
When his siblings got home from school that day - haha - he was already grasping my shirt. Like he knew I would protect him from their crazy. Oh yes, I will baby Mikey!
However, big brother and big sister couldn't WAIT to get their hands on their new brother!
The first few days, there was a lot of this. And it was completely adorable.
Oh...and a lot of this. Oh Maddie.
This first week at home was rough...mainly because this little boy was such a loud sleeper. He was next to me all night, getting up about every 2-3 hours to eat, but the in between even when he went to sleep I was not sleeping because he was LOUD. At his one week check up, the doctor suggested that we move him to his room. I was soooo hesitant. But I got the Dock-A-Tot (because I really liked that it was something that surrounded him and made him feel more comfortable that I could but in his big ole crib - but was breathable and safe) and put him in his room. And it all worked out great. We both started sleeping better. Got into our own little routine with nursing and sleeping. It was magic. Not easy, but magic to get to do it again with baby #3. I'm forever thankful for this little man adding himself to our family. And while I'm writing this 3.5 months into his life, it hard to even imagine our lives without him in it! I'm so glad I can call him mine!
And of course - the story of his birthday would not be complete without Jimmy's amazing baby "playbook". It is in the same notebook with an hour by hour (and in this case....day by day because we thought 7/15 was originally his birthday!) with what was happening. He even included "world happenings". Thanks Jimmy for always documenting this - I treasure looking back on these for sure!!
As for wondering if this is the last birth story that I'll write...we are not quite sure yet. We have always said we wanted four kiddos, but we would take it one kiddo at a time. So that is still yet to be determined. However, Mikey is like the most wonderful baby (it's all about perspective people - the fact that he just lays there and smiles at you and lets you dress him in whatever you want and is a great sleeper ----- all things that our older kids do not do...), so it's easy to want another one after this adorable little man!! We shall see!
Baby Mikey - so happy that you joined our family on July 19!!
Hi! Welcome to my blog. I'm a 30 something, mom of 3 sweet babies, work full time as a finance manager, fitness lover/coach, Christian, married to my college sweetheart residing in a suburb of Kansas City. I like to blog about our family adventures, random thoughts and be as honest as I can about real life as a mom of three little kiddos 4 and under. Hope you enjoy and stick around to read!
