Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mommy and me: time together

This week's mommy and me picture is in the midst of celebrating our long weekend with friends.  Sunday turned out to be a hot one, but we enjoyed every minute we could get outside together.

Here's the thing that I go through as a parent on a constant basis.  I seriously want to be around my child all the time.  Like I don't want to miss one single moment or milestone he has.  I want to soak in every smile, every sweet laugh and especially every time he pulls up on me, hugs my legs and says mama {I'm yes sweet boy, you do that and you'll quickly learn I will drop anything to hold you in my arms.  But at the same time, there's still this crazy thing called life that seems to get in the way.  Whether its work, time with family and friends, dates with each other or commitments we made (like school, volunteer).  Not to mention just the maintenance of a household.

So when I get the chance and have a weekend that is not-so-busy with work and other things, I try to literally soak it all in.  And every hug is a little sweeter, every laugh sounds a little better and very time you fall asleep in my arms I love you more and more.  I love those times.

Last night was the first night in almost 10 months I haven't pumped before I went to bed.  That's crazy right?!?  It is.  But I almost felt like a part of me was missing because I'm so used to it.  I'm down to pumping twice a day at work too.  You are still ok with nursing in the morning and at night, but it's much more of a struggle during the weekends when I'm at home.  I don't want to stop nursing you like ever.  Because I'll miss our special time.  But time is making me comes to grips with reality that my almost 10 month old is growing up.  And you'll need me in a different way, Charlie.  And as we start this process of weaning, how ever long it takes, know that I'll miss it.  Even not pumping at night I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like I am letting you down.  But then I realize this is how my whole life is going to have to be as a parent, slowly letting you grow up.  Sheesh.  I just thought you'd be a baby forever!!!

I love you and your crazy hair Charlie Carter!!!  Thanks for lots of fun this weekend!!!

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1 comment:

  1. Thinking of you! It's such a hard transition. But I have to admit, holy freedom. :)