You know those days that change your life forever? Well - that's exactly what happened 2 years ago today. July 31, 2012 - Charlie Carter came into this world a little after noon at 8lbs and 9oz.
I sat in my bed last night with my new sweet baby girl asleep in her rocker right next to me thinking about how 2 years ago I fell asleep in a hospital bed - getting ready for his arrival the next day. The nurse called it our last "date night" for a while. Ha. My blood pressure was high. It was HOT outside. I was rocking a wicked headache. I remember being so excited and so scared all at the same time. I had NO idea what to expect of the whole giving birth process and even though I thought I was prepared to be a mom, it was clear to me the first time they put you in my arms after our long 10 month journey together and we finally met - I had no idea what I was in for.
You instantly stole my heart.
I couldn't help but start to cry thinking about the whole thing last night. My first experience with motherhood. All those memories are so wonderful. So scary, but so wonderful. The first night we had Charlie at home we put him in the pack n play next to our bed asleep and I cried - telling Jimmy what happens if we can't take care of him? What if we don't know what to do?!
Well guess what - two years later - there are days that I still feel like that. Not knowing if we are doing the "right" thing and scared that we won't provide you with all the things you need, sweet Charlie.
But then I see you smile. And laugh. And tell us how the train says "choo choo" over and over again. You insist on milk - wait, you changed your mind, you'll take water and then you change your mind again. You point out every body part on yourself and others. And no, your sister doesn't have a "peno", but that will be something I correct and explain later on sweet boy. And your hugs are the best. But your kisses are better. And the best yet, when you give kisses on your own to you little sister. It all makes me realize that no matter if your dad and I do what's "right" or really know what we are doing - as long as we love you - which we do so much - we are in fact doing this parenting thing the right way.
We love you so much sweet boy. And that love that I felt the first time I held you, it just grows and grows stronger each day. You are so funny and fun loving and sweet and social and hilarious. Your curly hair is adorable and your tooth filled smile is even cuter. You are not the best eater and love to snack. You NEVER sit still and always want to be doing something. You are the best dancer. No really. Your dance moves are amazing.
It has been such a pleasure being your mom the last two years. It has been so fun to see my role as a mom and your dad's role as a dad emerge and change over the past two years as well...you always keep us on our toes that's for sure!
So here we are. Your birthday is coming to a close. Next year this time you will be THREE and I can't even bear to think about that, but I know it will be here before we know it. I pray that you continue to live this next year to your fullest. Keep smiling and laughing and hugging and kissing. Keep saying your prayers at night and brushing your teeth. Keep loving me and your dad and your sister. And don't kick the dogs!! While so much has changed in this last year, I'm sure there will more changes this next year to a big boy bed and no diapers (hopefully!!), so brace yourself young man because we are in this together.
And thank you Charlie - for making me a mom. I love being a "boy mom" so much and especially being your mom. When I hear you ask for mommy and want to snuggle with me and kiss me, there is no better feeling in this world.
We love you so much!!! Happy 2nd birthday sweet boy!!
That smile - gets me every time.
Family picture in front of Fritz's.
And this is real life - trying to get a picture with a toddler. And then he SCREAMED his head off the whole way home. Watch out terrible twos!!!