I am gonna miss this

While part of me is anxious to go back to work merely for daily adult interaction, there are just so many things I'm going to miss about not getting to stay at home with my little man. I know the days will be shorter, the schedule will be stricter and the little moments so much more precious.

The big one I will miss is sleeping in and snuggling with Charlie in bed in the mornings...oh yes, with all the digs around us. Our "bad habit" (I say in quotes because I love it...) is Jimmy going to get him if he's crying/fussy around 6am or after, changing his diaper and then bringing him into our room so I can nurse him siting in our bed. My fav. Then I burp him on my chest and he falls asleep. Correction- we fall asleep. It's the most wonderful thing in the world in my opinion right now. There are even sometimes I just lay there awake and stare at his sweet face, still in awe of how just a year ago he didn't exist and now here he is in my arms (and almost 3 months old!!!).

I'm going to miss our random trips to Target, the grocery store and elsewhere. They are so fun just cruising around the two of us. I'm going to miss the days that we have literally nothing at all to do, nowhere to be and can stay in our pjs all day long (especially because Charlie looks so cute in his pjs!).

I will miss watching him play on the floor and in the jumper for hours each day. Listening to his noises and talking back in full conversation like he knows every word I'm saying. I'll miss our walks around the neighborhood where I point out the trees, the leaves, and we strategically avoid walkers with dogs to keep the peace. I'll miss the constant attempt to multi task while holding him. Or being happily interrupted in my task at hand by a sweet baby that has awaken from his nap. I'll miss our support group we have developed of other breastfeeding moms and their sweet babies- that was pretty much the only thing on our schedule each week and we made it 11 out of 12 weeks since Charlie's been alive- so lucky to have those girls and their sweet babies and a great support group.

So there you have it. This was me looking back on the last 12 weeks at all the things I loved and embraced about being a stay at home mom. There is a future that is reality that I'm looking forward to as a working mom and know there will be a whole new list of things I love.

I remember a co-worker of mine saying when I was pregnant that the one thing she hopes for me during my time off is that I treasure the moments with my son and not have a long to do list that I'm wanting to accomplish every day. She said this mainly because I was/am the type of person that likes doing so many things...well...I made one maternity leave to do list and don't think I accomplished but 2 of the things on it. Our house wasnt always clean and the dishes weren't washed and there was always another load of laundry to do and put away. But I didn't care. Why is that? Because I made sure there were times when Charlie fell asleep on me...I fell asleep too and left him on me to soak up as much of him sleeping on me I could get. There were times when a frozen pizza would have to do for dinner because I wanted to play with him a little longer. There were days when I didn't shower because he was having a bad day and I didn't want to put him down.

Good or bad, right or wrong- I can say that I took the time to truly soak up these moments and cherish this time that seems to fly by when he's so little. I dropped my grad school class and am forever thankful I did. I had nothing else on my plate for the last 12 weeks except taking care of my cute little baby boy. And I'm surprised truly at how much I enjoyed it and having no to do lists and just taking in each day one hour at a time.

Wednesday morning at 5:30am- be thinking about me. I will have to get up and get ready for work and be back on a schedule. But for these last 2 days, this mama is soaking up every sweet moment I have.

One of our "stay in PJs all day" days....