I am gonna miss this - part 2

It would 

So what is the part 2 for?  Well, this is Part 1 of this post from when I went back to work full time with Charlie, which at this point going back and reading this - seems like FOREVER ago.   And as I will say a million times over, being able to go back and see what I was thinking way back when in that moment is absolutely the reason why I keep blogging.  I cannot believe it will be almost SIX years that I will have been blogging in February, but what a great and crazy six years it has been.

All right - to the point.  Going back to work full time.

It's here.  The day that we start doing our "new normal" every day.  It's so different this time around with sweet Maddie.  Not easier by ANY means, but different.  With Charlie I was just terrified to be quite honest.  Looking back, I just didn't think that his life could go on without me in it every single waking second of the day.  When I took him to day care for the first time I didn't know any of the people that were going to watch him, I knew as much as I could - but a few visits here and there, it's just too hard.  I had never gotten anyone but myself ready before work and just the thought of pumping at work terrified me to no ends.  

The good news?  The second time around, all the stuff that I was worried about and those people I didn't know?  Well - I have done the "stuff" (getting the kid dressed, ready and fed and all the bottles/milk, etc to school) for two years and Jimmy and I can handle that - we just have a little more stuff.  Plus, this whole working part time in September thing, as much as I didn't want to do it, it's actually worked out nice giving us great "trial" runs of getting two kids ready and Jimmy getting them out the door with all that stuff.  Let me tell you a little secret - Maddie is not the difficult one to get out the door and in the car.  That little person named Charlie is!!  Oh perspective!

But the even better news?  When your younger child gets to go to the same school that you have been taking your older child, you already know the teachers, they know about your family, you know the routine (how to get in and out of the door, when and how they let you know what supplies you need to bring, etc.).  And when you like LOVE those people, that is what makes this time oh so different.  When I dropped Miss Maddie off for her first day of day care on September 9th - I drove to work (after wiping my tears) with a smile on my face.  Because I knew she was in good hands.

Are there days when I wish I could stay home with her and Charlie?  Absolutely.  There are lots of those days.  But when I look at Charlie, who has been in full time day care since he was 12 weeks old, and how much he has learned and how social he is and so many other things - I just know that this is the best option for our family.  I know that Maddie will do just as great as he has done and love her friends that she meets and the teachers she has just as much as Charlie does/has.  These teachers and staff become an extension of your family and I really love this extended family that we have.  They are wonderful and I know Maddie will think so too!!

One thing that does help?  The fact that I do really like my job.  Like a lot.  And the people I work with too.  However, the best part is just the balance that I have at this new company.  I'm so much closer to home, the hours are shorter and I don't work at night/from home.  Which is just key for me.  I love that when I go to work, I work hard and my kids are in good care and having fun but when we get home, we can all spend quality time together.  That was not the case before, so I'm so much more confident in this transition it is crazy.  Plus I know everything I possibly need to know about pumping and have 12,000 parts and two breast pumps - so mama's got the goods and I'm not afraid to use them (i.e. I pump when I need to pump because it's important to me and this time I'm not scared to tell everyone "I'm going to pump").

I am going to miss my one on one time with Maddie SO much.  I'm going to miss snuggling with her in the morning (confession - just like her brother, I would grab her in the morning and she would fall asleep on my chest in bed with me after Charlie and Jimmy left for the day), and making funny faces with her to get her to laugh during the day.  She is just the sweetest little thing and I cannot get enough of her.  There is never enough time with the people you love and I love this little girl oh so much.  I'm going to miss all our trips out to Target and CostCo and our walks.  She was a trooper with all the projects I tried to cram in.  I'm going to miss nursing her all day long versus pumping.  I'm going to miss her big burps too!  I won't miss her gross poopy diapers - I'll save those for the nights and weekends.  

Most of all - I'm going to miss staring at this adorable girl all day long and wondering how I got so lucky to be blessed with two wonderful, beautiful and healthy children.  

I would have NEVER thought a year ago that I would be here wrapping up maternity leave with baby number 2.  Never.  But God sure works in mysterious ways and knows when the time is right - and the time was just perfect for this sweet girl to enter into our lives.

I was able to spend my last day of leave with both my babes since Charlie got tubes this morning, so it was a bonus day.  While it was a bit crazy, as always, with both of them - we had a great day and Charlie recovered very fast and we met Slugger (Royal's mascot) AND made our first shopping outing with just the three of us to CostCo.  Oh my!  What a day it was. 

And tomorrow starts a new chapter in our lives....so ready or not, here we go!!!