Last Thursday - Sunday...might have been some of the worst days...I have had in a LONG time. Is that rather dramatic? Maybe. But for real people- motherhood. Sheesh. That's all I have to say.
I found myself sitting in the hearth room, just off my kitchen last Friday morning. Jimmy had been out of town for work since Wednesday morning. I was nursing Maddie while Charlie was eating breakfast and then at one moment's notice- I all of a sudden realized that I needed to literally be in five places at once. Yes, five of them. Not one or two, five.
Maddie needed me to stay right there and keep nursing her, you know, for her nourishment and all...nbd
at the same time, my stomach was rumbling and telling me I needed to go to the bathroom...STAT. Oh yeah, conveniently while Jimmy was out of town my right breast infection that had been hurting for about a week got bad and painful. Fever, aches, etc. I had gone to the doctor to the morning and she like was "not serious, but let me give you this antibiotic to help fight off the infection". She might as well handed me over 3 lbs of super spicy chili and said- "just eat it and see how if makes you feel". Because that's how I felt every hour waking up and hanging out in the porcelain throne the night before. In between my kids waking up screaming the other times. It was awesome. Oh yeah and even after taking the antibiotic, the "chili" side effects happened until SUNDAY night. If you're good at math (or not) that's three full days. You can close your mouth now. Anyways, this was mid that chaos (which has finally subsided- those were some strong pills- I just wish they would have beat my infection off versus just beating me), and I needed to be in the bathroom at that moment.
Charlie just spilled yogurt ALL over his pants and ia screaming "MOM I need a napkin at the top of his lungs". He won't stop.
Toby is banging his bowl of empty food and Willy has knocked over the water bowl because it's empty. Sweet life. But seriously- anyone want 3 dogs- free to a good home.
to be honest, I needed to be at work at that very moment as well. I had more than a full days work to do and if all these other demands weren't surrounding me, it is likely have been at work at like 6:30.
But I sat on the couch. Cursing the dogs, telling Charlie to sit on his bottom and get a napkin himself, knowing that again, everything would not get done at work- but that it would likely have to spill into the next day and I would just have to prioritize. As for my bathroom issue, I was able to hold it and I sat there and continued to feed my baby girl.
For a second, I really thought my head was going to explode. Like how was it even possible that 3 years ago I was a newly pregnant adult with so few things relying on me (we still had the dogs...)?? It's crazy how fast life can change.b and sometimes how freaking annoying it is. Like I just wanted to curl up in a ball, put on sweat pants and go back to bed.
But then I took a deep breath, looked into my baby's eyes and realized something. For as many times now I'm wishing little people (and big...) would stop needing me for 4.5 seconds so I can go to the bathroom, I will be wishing they were this little again years from now. When they are teenagers, or away from home or even adults themselves. I know try will still need me, just like I need my parents, but this absolute dependency just doesn't last very long and I think as I see how dang fast Charlie is growing up I'm realizing these childhood years just fly by.
So instead of wishing I was in my sweat pants alone and sleeping in my bed, I charged ahead. I knew that the next day would come. Jimmy would eventually come home. And someday I will sleep again (not anytime soon- but oddly, I'm ok with that). I was wishing that my babes would stay needing me and barging into the bathroom on me and yelling my name at the top of their lungs the minute they wake up in the morning. I hope they always give me that sweet look of love too. Even as we all grow older- I don't Want that to change.
So to all you mamas out there- take a deep breath. I wish I could tell you a solution to getting it all done by adding a limb (or two more!) or acquiring an assistant or cloning yourself. But I can't. I can tell you that you are everything your kids need in that place at that time- even if you think you need to be 5 places at once.