Thursday, January 24, 2013

Back to school

So this post is a little overdue now but ironically grad school class is just the reason for the delay. I finally started back to school right before Christmas. It's a little bittersweet because inevitably it means even LESS time with my little man but I guess good because that means it will be done sooner.

I finished up my summer school class on July 25. I was super pregnant and so sick of the hot hot weather. I was officially at the half way mark in my MBA program at UMKC. I had 5 classes done and 5 classes left (the program is normally more than that but bc I was a business undergrad I had lots of classes that counted so I didn't have to retake them). It's funny thinking back to my mentality pre-Charlie. I was ready to have this baby and had every intention of starting back to school again the last week in August because I didn't want to miss a semester. Everyone said I was crazy. I said it was just once a week for 3 hours. But the closer it got to his arrival, the more nervous I got about it. So I changed classes and added a brand new online finance class they just started offering. I knew it would be so much better.

Then Charlie arrived and pretty much my whole life changed. The absolute last thing I wanted to be thinking about with my new baby boy was school so I dropped that online class and decided to sit the semester out. I loved every minute that I got to spend with my sweet boy during maternity leave and am so happy my focus was solely on him. Couldn't have been more wonderful.

Then it was back to work again. Oh so fun. Then enrollment time cane around and it was time for me to decide. Mainly decide if I wanted to finish up what I had started. I would love to tell you that there was never a doubt in my mind that I'd start back up school again because their was. Doubts about if we could all 3 make it work, doubts about if I could survive seeing Charlie any less, and doubts that I would be able to take on just one more thing and add to my never ending to do list.

What made up my mind to enroll not one, but THREE classes this spring?? (Wait for it...I'm really not crazy...).  Here's the deal - and it's not because I want to put myself and my family through pure agony.  I sat down and really thought about it.  Why I wanted to get my MBA in the first place.  It wasn't because I will get a raise (which I won't), it isn't for the title or the "recognition".  The reason I started my MBA in the Spring of 2011 was because it was always a goal of mine to get my masters.  I don't know why, but it has been.  That goal of mine was actually one of the main reasons that I took my first job at Deloitte Consulting right out of college because if I could stick through traveling and crazy hours, they were going to pay for me to go back to school full time at a top school.  While that didn't work out (quit that job because I HATED traveling every much), I knew when I started at Hallmark that I would want to pursue my MBA part time in the evenings.  And all that started after we got married.  I took the GMAT in the fall of 2010 and then started at UMKC in the spring of 2011.  For no reason at all other than it was a goal of mine and I just wanted to further my education, my knowledge and be a better employee and leader.  And guess what?  Even as a mom, that goal still resonates with me.  And in a weird way, I want to finish it even more.  I want to finish what I started so that I can someday tell my son someday about when even when I really wanted to quit something because more than anything I wanted to spend every moment not at work with him...I stuck with it for a few simple reasons.  (1) Because I am the type of person that always strive to follow through on my goals; (2) I truly want to further my education and business acumen and (3) I want to set myself and our family up so I can continue to provide my child and future children with all that I think they deserve.  The final reason doesn't mean that they will get to go to McDonald's every day when they are older...but just to make sure they can do those activities that might cost a little extra or go to the college they want to go to.  I'm finishing my MBA because I want to set a good example for my son, who I love so much and hate that I don't get to put him to bed one night a week. 

And another huge reason?  Because Jimmy told me he was so excited to take Charlie to my graduation and for him to see his mom walk across the stage and be so proud of her.  That literally makes me cry.

Because I missed last fall, I took an intercession class over Christmas break that was intense.  It wasn't hard but just a lot and a huge slap in the face "welcome back to grad school".  Right when we had our routine down - then I go and change things again.  Hence my crazy post last week.  But we all made it through and I'm pretty certain I still got an A or B.  Same diff, right?!  Thankful for that.  Now tonight, I start another class for the real spring semester that is just every Thursday night, which will be a nice break from having to go 3 times a week for intercession.  And because this online class I wanted to take during the summer isn't actually offered during the summer (nice, huh?), I've decided to bite the bullet and just take it this semester also.  So with 9 hours, that makes me an official full time grad school student.  Fun stuff right?  At least one is already done and one is online.  Jimmy and I talked a lot about it and we are all on board to make it work.  Because I refuse to take a summer class.  No way Jose will I go to class two times a week in the summer - not when I could be walking to the park with my baby boy that will not be a baby anymore come summer.

So sacrifices will be made, less time will be spent with friends and family, less sleep will be had by all (well, just mom and dad - Charlie - you need to sleep more!)...but we will survive.  It is all worth it in the end.  When Charlie gets to come with his dad and see me walk across the stage in May of 2014 - it will be worth it to see a smile on his face and clapping for him mama!  (Ummmm...he will be almost 2 years old then, which is really scary crazy!!)

There you have it.  If you see me complain on facebook, instagram or in another blog post - I apologize in advance.  As I try to be completely honest and transparent on here - when I'm stressed, it likely shows.  But here we go as I get ready for another semester of fun and a fun balancing act we all call life!!!

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  1. Hi Brittany,
    My name is Carli and I enjoy reading Vanessa’s blog and through hers I found yours. Sorry to be super creeptastic but I love your blog. I am a working mom (who also went to KSU!) and my little boy is 20 months old. I am also working on my masters degree. I really appreciate your honesty. So many moms out there seem like they have it all together and that’s just not realistic. I appreciate how real you are on here. I can relate so much. I love my job (I’m a teacher) but I have those hard days that I wish I could be home with my little guy. I feel like I don’t have a lot of people who understand how it feels as many of my close friends stay home with their kids. I’m very goal driven too and the master of to-do lists. Sometimes I feel so relieved after I read your blog that yes, someone else gets it! So…sorry If I’m being a true creep ball but after your last post, I just had to reach out and say hi and thank you. :)


    PS: Fun fact... your sis-in-law Hillary and I used to play softball together when we were little, small world!

    1. Carli - not creepy AT all. I'm so so glad you commented. I hesitated writing this post because I didn't want it to come off wrong. But like I have always said, this blog is essentially like my diary and the best part about it is looking back on posts and seeing EXACTLY how I felt. So I'm glad you appreciate my honesty. And I'm so glad to hear that we are in the same boat with working, going to school, and raising little boys. It's so so nice to know that you're not the only one that sometimes feel your whole world is going to explode tomorrow because there is too much to do and so much going on. But I am sticking strong to the fast that as a woman and a mom we can make it work and we will! Life is for sure not easy or perfect as a mom in general and especially not as a working mom - but it's worth it I think and hopefully we can find a good balance.

      I'm so glad you found my blog and I hope you continue to enjoy the posts. I'm sure your little man is just so much fun at 20 months - I love Charlie at this stage so much but know there is lots more to look forward to as well!!!

      And finally - that is such a small world! I will have talk to Hillary when I see her next!! Love it!!