Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A night away

Last night was the first night I spent away from my baby boy in almost a whole 8 months.  It was a work trip.  It was one night.  When I was told I would be going about a month ago, I told myself it was no big deal.  It was a good time.  It was just one night.

Then Monday came.  I panicked.  I couldn't do it.  Even worse, this is the one week that Jimmy has meetings at night that he had to go to, so my mom had to help us out, so I felt bad about that anyways. I looked up flights to see if I could just come back to KC super late Tuesday night, but then felt guilty because that one way ticket just a day in advance was as much as my whole trip.  So much to pack (not clothes, breast pump stuff...) and on Monday night I tried to make sure I remembered everything, while this little guy helped me out.  If only I could have taken him with me!!

This is him trying to throw my suitcase on the ground.  I hear ya kid.
Up bright and early on Tuesday, I headed off to Milwaukee to a pretty beautiful sunset and tried to keep my head up.  It was only one night.  We would all make it, but living through it didn't make it much easier.  Luckily I shot a few silly videos of us laughing the night before.  I probably watched it 4 times just on the plane there....

Got there, went to the hotel to pump, went to our meeting site, set up, ate, presented, at 2:30 I snuck into the office at the meeting place (after talking to the manager) and pumped my little heart out.  Same view, different city these days....

After our meeting, we headed downtown to get a drink.  I had been texting my mom and everything was going great.  She picked Charlie up just fine, got him in and out of the car seat and they were just hanging out getting ready to eat some food.  We decided it would be fun to facetime. So when we were walking to dinner in downtown Milwaukee, I called her.  We chatted and then she put the phone in front of him so we could see each other.  One look at me and he lost it.  Like his face immediately went into sad face and then next up, he started bawling.  Like uncontrollably.  I wanted to start crying.  My mom thought I was.  She had to put the phone down to pick him up while i kept trying to sweet talk him.  She finally got him calmed down and I blew him a kiss and wanted to go to the airport immediately.  I just kept thinking that if he knows who I am, he has to know that I'm not there, right?  And he thinks I've abandoned him!!??  AHH!  (Maybe this is all stemming from us adopting our wiener dogs that were abandoned by there family!?).

While my mom was busy in KC putting little man to bed, I was doing some fine dining with some co-workers and had a delicious dinner.  But when we got back to the hotel, I drowned my sorrows with the "treat sack" my boys left in the car for me with the sweet note that I found inside.  (Thanks Jimmy - you really know how to brighten my day - that literally was the best finding that note!!) So I pumped, ate gummy bears and tootsie rolls and studied for my test that I had to have done by Wednesday evening by 11:59 (GRRRR - grad school!!!).  I just sat there wondering what was going on at home!

The good news?  The morning came quick, my milk went JUST fine through security, and I was back in my office at Hallmark by 10AM.  Worked for a few hours and then had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon and then worked from home after.  It was so nice to have a few hours at home alone to get my stuff unpacked and clean up the house, work, and get some more studying in.

Then FINALLY!  I heard the garage door come up.  And I ran out to get this little guy out of his car seat and in my arms.  It was pretty much heaven.

I must be a much bigger girl than I thought I was.  When I was working I was fine, it was just the nighttime.  Not that I don't love a nice steak dinner with co-workers, it was just weird to think of what I would normally be doing at home at that exact time.  And I would smile to myself thinking about Charlie splashing in the bath water and then looking up to laugh after the water splashes him in the face with his tooth-filled grin.  Just love him so much.

Moral of the story?  I went away.  I lived.  He lived.  Jimmy lived.  But don't expect me to do it again anytime soon unless I can be there right when he gets up.  I have to get my morning Charlie fill.  It is my favorite.
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1 comment:

  1. Proud of you! Especially for having to pump the entire time away. I have a multi-night trip coming up, and it makes me want to pee my pants.