Thursday, April 30, 2015

My happy

Is it just me or do you sometimes get really emotional about things in life? Lately I have found myself staring at my kids. Like all the time.  Hard and long stares.  Staring at their pictures (old and new) at work, their clothes and of course when I'm with them.  

I mean obviously this is a given, but I love them so stinkin much.  Sometimes it overwhelms me how much I can be in love with these little beings that Jimmy and I created.  

I think what's triggered it is they are both changing SO much.  Like all of a sudden I'm having full out conversations with Charlie on a daily basis.  He remembers things (like I will tell him what we are going to do after school and the minute he sees me at pick up he talks about it) and notices things for himself.  He rides his strider bike all over and talks about how he's going to Iowa or Walmart by himself on his bike and he'll be back later.  What?!? Don't leave me yet little man.  He's doing so good with potty training and teeth brushing and being a good brother.  He notices when things are not like they should be, like when I pick him up first at school because Maddie was asleep...he was SO confused and kept asking me where Baby Addie was.  

And then you have my other child, my sweet baby Maddie...who is not a baby least it feels like that lately.  She's standing up, drinking breastmilk from a sippy cup, eating whatever you will offer up, making all kinds of noises, finally sleeping a little better and participating in all sorts of play time wih her big brother.  She's quite frankly the cutest little pot roast you've ever seen.  However, she's not a fan if you set her down and immediately walk away.  She likes to bolt up the stairs already (and is quite fast) and is known at day care as the fastest bottle drinker they've seen.


And when they interact and laugh together...I'm a pile of mush.  It's the cutest thing ever.

This past Monday was one of those days.  Monday in general + a no fun day at work = stressed mom.  I was in a bad mood.  But I got home and tried to push it aside.  Jimmy made and cleaned up a healthy dinner, I planted some flowers and Charlie helped me water them and then I got to put both of them to bed.  And it was glorious getting to put them both down and squeezing Maddie while I was nursing her and laying her down asleep after some snuggles.  Then going into Charlie's room and talking, laughing, reading and praying with him.  

I walked down the dark hall to our bedroom and was just happy.  I mean I did complain to Jimmy for like 20 minutes straight about work stress, but he listened, gave me a hug and kept watching the baseball game.  But when I sat down- I just couldn't stop thinking about how much I love these kids.  As crazy as life can be with little's worth all the sleepless nights, extra laundry, extra frustration and all the money we spend on them for this crazy love you feel for them.  And it multiples in abundance with each kid. It's insane the love you feel as a parent.  Just never knew that was possible.

But they are my happy. And I'm so lucky to have them- and lucky that as their parent, it's not considered creepy to stare at your kids pictures all day....