All the feelings

Friday morning we got to take a good look at this sweet baby growing in my stomach.  It's so crazy because my feelings towards this sonogram this pregnancy were so different. So different. For several reasons.

I was a nervous wreck- first of all.  I wanted to go back to our 20 week sonogram with Charlie when all I was feeling was excitement to see him and find out what we were having.  I was just as excited to see the little babe but nervous as 4 years later and living life - you quickly realize what an absolute blessing carrying and delivering a healthy baby is.  It's a complete miracle - which I already knew but these last four years of living and being a mom have confirmed that even more. All I wanted to hear was "all the parts are there...in the right place...baby is growing just as they should...they are perfect".  And thank God we did.  All the right parts in all the right places was music to my ears.

What else was different? Instead of wondering what it would be like to become a mom for the first time (like I was feeling when seeing Charlie on the screen at 20 weeks) or looking in lovingly at my sweet baby girl, Maddie, wondering- is it possible for my heart to love both her and her brother all at once and just how will she fit in-- and most importantly, how will we survive with two kids...??  This time I soaked in the morning with this baby's siblings- staring at them eating breakfast.  They were laughing at each other and then me. Hugging and kissing me goodbye as I headed off to work and them to school.  I kept thinking to myself "I cannot wait for this babe to come home.  They will fit right in".  Staring at the screen I wasn't wondering if my heart would be big enough, because after adding Maddie to the clan almost 2 years ago, I know it's possible to love all of my babies just the same.  I was filled with excitement for the newborn stage, those snuggles and smells and when they just lay there staring so sweetly at you.  I can't wait to see how much Charlie and Maddie will love on him/her.

While I was anxious, yes, I was so relieved to get the "healthy" report and just filled with so much joy.  We even held strong to our decision to wait to find out what gender this baby is until their entrance into the world!  Easier said than done for sure!  But now I'm even more excited!!

So while this is the third time around- all those feelings are still there. Seeing the life growing inside you just puts me in awe of God's amazing work every time.  Each sweet life that is made is such a blessing and as we wait another 19 weeks to meet this baby and prepare our hearts and home for its arrival- I couldn't have more happy and joyous feelings running through me.  So blessed and thrilled to be welcoming another of these crazy kids to our clan. Even if it means this babe will eventually turn into a toddler - HA - it is inevitable.....

We only got two pics of the babe too (fitting for kid #3 i guess) but mainly because she said all the other shots would have showed off the junk or lack thereof.  These two pictures are all we need. Charlie looked at them each night before bed the last 2 nights!!!!  He can't wait to be a big brother x2!