Me vs. him

On the morning of fourth of July, my mother-in-law and one of my sister in law's (Hillary) went shopping early to Independence to Old Time Pottery (in love with) and my first time to Cargo Largo.  I was waiting for Sue to come pick me up and was enjoying a cup of coffee on our front porch when I saw him.  I caught him out of the corner of my eye.  He was running and he immediately stopped.  He looked up at me.  It was intense eye contact.  I was trying to telepathically tell him how much he annoyed me.  And my dogs in particular, which then of course annoyed me.

Who was "him"?

Well, it was Chippy the chipmunk.  Our ultimate yard nemesis.  He runs back and forth, back and forth, back and forth in front of the windows in the front yard.  And then he disappears.  And then he pops up again.  He's super sneaky.

(photo source, as I didn't have my camera outside....)

What he also does is DIG HOLES in my flower beds and around all my plants.  While I do think this guy is cute, he causes too much trouble for me to love him - cute or not.

So when we were in a deep stare....our conversations went like this.

Me: "Chippy, you stay away from my flower beds.  I have spent too much money on these plants and flowers for them to keep dying. "

Chippy: "Oh get over it.  You get real entertainment; my entertainment consists of digging holes in your garden that make a tunnel system that I can slide around in.  So fun when it rains.  Oh and my entertainment is harassing your dogs."

Me: "Speaking of harassing my dogs - can you just leave them alone for goodness sake??  They are stuck in the house and cannot get to you.  So stop making them bark.  It's annoying for everyone"

Chippy: "hehehehe" (a chipmunk's version of chuckling)


We start a staring contest.  I am horrible at these, but I'm also realizing at this point I'm sitting on my front porch staring down a baby chipmunk and imagining ridiculous conversations in my head.  Yep, I've lost it.  But seriously, this stupid thing forces me to keep my blinds shut and front door closed!  No light is let into my house because wherever it is, my dogs hunt him down with their eyes and bark and bark and bark.  I'm thinking my hallucinations might be due to a vitamin D deficiency.....

Then I turn my head for a brief second to get a drink of coffee and next thing I know I turn around....he's gone.  Disappeared.  Back into the tunnel system.  That damn chipmunk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    I will get him someday!!!

Anyone else have these crazy yard animals that torture your dogs and kill your plants!??  Or am I the only crazy one?!?!  We have a nutty possum too, but at least he only comes out in the dark!!!  I know my mom has her own Chippy as well....but then again we are related...and I am pretty sure crazy runs in the family...