Tuesday, August 11, 2009

If these walls could talk...

No, this isn't a "let's reminisce about good old times @ 1819 Todd" Pi Phi post. However, I might need one of those soon. This is talking about what happened in my own house yesterday afternoon. I can only imagine this is what the walls would say if they could talk:

"Brittany arrived home from work yesterday a little later than usual, but the all the dogs- Toby, Milly, and Willy- had been out of their kennel all day because Brittany's dad was working on the brick pathway so he was letting them in and out every once and awhile. When she came inside, she started her usual routine: walk in the door, love/hug/kiss the dogs, let them outside, feed them, get a snack while they are eating. The snack she chose yesterday was 1/2 a blueberry bagel and some honey almond cream cheese- left over from the Sunday morning bagel box she picked up for everyone at Einstein Brothers. She only took half (probably bc she was getting ready to go to bootcamp). She toasted it, shmeared it, and ate it. Then decided that she wasn't full and needed those extra carbs to get her through bootcamp, so took the other 1/2 out, popped it in the toaster and ran upstairs to change and go to the bathroom since all the dogs were through eating.

Little did she know she was going to walk up the stairs and find mud all over the carpet in the hallway and in the guest room and on the guest room bedding. I knew right away she would be pissed...but I saw Toby's dirty feet stomp all over it earlier today and there was no stopping him. And yep, I guess right...she was pissed. So of course she yelled at Toby while continuing to walk to her room. She changed quick and it seemed like she really had to go to the bathroom because she hurried in and closed the door to relieve herself.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the kitchen....Toby had saw right away that Brittany left the 3/4 full honey almond container of cream cheese close to the edge of the kitchen counter. So Toby being Toby just hopped up there and knocked it off the counter and started eating it. Willy ran in the kitchen immediately because he heard Toby eating something and had to check it out- he obviously wanted a piece of the action. Well, as you well know when there is 1 thing that 2 dogs want- it's never pretty. Some growling started, biting, snarling, movement of the cream cheese container from the kitchen floor to the dining room floor (I seemed to have missed how that happened), cream cheese on noses, fur, teeth, necks, etc. It was pretty loud! Next thing I know....Brittany is running down the stairs in her underwear (haha- obviously she stopped mid going to the bathroom due to the snarling) screaming and flailing her arms, yelling @ both Willy and Toby. When she gets to the dining room- the cream cheese is all gone from the container, it's all over both their snouts and necks. She is NOT happy. They both get spanked and told "NO"---even though it was really her fault for leaving it out in the first place, but people always blame this stuff on dogs. She is really mad, throws the second 1/2 of the bagel she was planning on eating in the trash and goes back upstairs.

Toby stares at Willy, then Willy stares back. No winner was determined but at least they both got some cream cheese.

Brittany then starts using Spot Shot to clean all the mud spots on the carpet. Then she calls Jimmy (her poor fiance) to yell @ him to blame him for leaving the dogs out during the day- even though it really wasn't his fault- and tell him how angry she is and how annoying and bad the dogs were. She has it on speaker (while she's scrubbing) and Jimmy says that he will clean it up and just leave it. But she says "NO" and hangs up. Five minutes later he comes in the door to find Brittany scrubbing the carpet still. He just looks at her and starts laughing and she does too, because I'm pretty sure she realizes how ridiculous she was being. Thank goodness he's marrying her- she needs someone that can put up with that stuff she pulls every so often.

Willy and Toby are still walking around the dining room/kitchen, sulking because they were in trouble. But when Jimmy walks in, Toby forgets instantly about the incident. Willy still feels bad and is thinking of a way to make it up to Brittany--however, he figures that he will have to get a bath tonight so he doesn't feel that bad. Milly is hiding in the man cave...scared and wanting to remove herself from the situation. This family is crazy!!!"

What an afternoon, overall : glad Jimmy is marrying me even though I throw ridiculous fits, glad we have a carpet shampooer handy, sad that the honey almond cream cheese is no longer in the fridge, but glad I can sit back and laugh and realize how hysterical the whole situation was. I can't even imagine life with 3 kids!!

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