Wedding breakdown #1..of many to come I'm sure.

Ok so planning a wedding is hard. I say that because I am not the bride that has envisioned my wedding day from when I was a little girl. However, I am the bride that has been saving my money diligently for this day for a LONG time. (Example: I went to meet with my financial advisor one time and he asked me if I had a plan with what I was going to do with all this money I had been saving. I simply answered, that's for my wedding. He looked under the table and then shot me a confused look and asked: "Are you engaged?"; Me: "No"; Him: "Do you have a boyfriend?"; Me: "No"; Him---strange look continues and he suggests putting the money in an aggressive fund for now and then when the time comes around, we move to something more conservative). Anyways.....I get really excited and then I get really discouraged, then really excited, and then really sick to my stomach because I think of all the money it costs to host a wedding- especially one with all our family and friends (that guest list is a whole other story!!).

So today has been one of those days. Jimmy and I finally made a the first big vendor decision (or so I thought)...being the photographer we are going to use. Then I get an email with a photographer that a friend's friend is using for way cheaper with no day of time limit. So I freak out. I look at her website and think "wow this is such a good deal", then I think "but is there a reason that she's so cheap? maybe she's super young and not that experienced in taking pictures?" and then I think "no i am really set in our initial decision" but then i think "wow it would be so nice to decrease the dollars budgeted for photography on my budget spreadsheet and allocate those dollars elsewhere" (which has now become my latest new excel obsession)...so I immediately go to the wedding budget spreadsheet and adjust photography down and the reception allocation up. I'm instantly happy. But then, I start feeling regret thinking of how much I like the original company and I feel like they will do a quality job. So then I get on the Internet (this is just the start to disappointment)..I find this KC Brides posting about photographers for around $800 (what a steal!) and start clicking on links to like 5 photographers that all look awesome. The disappointment/remorse/regret/confusion continues.

The big question is....I just got the contract in the mail from the original photographer we chose and what do I do now?? Just wait and meet with a few more of the ones I found today---but that will take more time and effort (things that I seem to be lacking these days)....so do I just stick strong in my original decision and get over the fact that I might be paying a few hundred dollars extra, but that it will probably be more quality work?? AHH. As you can see....my mind is going in circles. I just text messaged Jimmy that I think we should elope.