Boy or Girl? As long as you are healthy!!

Dear Baby Carter -

As I sit down to start this post, in exactly 12 hours, your dad and I will be walking into the doctor's office for our 20 week sonogram to check out all your organs and parts (the necessary stuff) AND searching around the picture to look for your "junk"....or lack there of "junk".

First of all, I cannot believe that you are half-baked, meaning you are 20 weeks developed already!!  I feel like it was just yesterday when I took that pregnancy test the Saturday after Thanksgiving and saw the first 2 lines I have ever seen and pretty much lost it.  I feel like it was just yesterday that I was making a fun video with funny pictures to tell your dad that you were on your way and that our whole world was going to change for the better.  I feel like it was just yesterday that we heard your heartbeat for the first time and I cried - because that was all I wanted to hear, just to know that you were there and your heart was beating fast and furiously inside of me (and really the whole thing just blew my mind because I felt normal and my stomach had not grown at all!!).

But guess what?  Those days of having to pronounce to people at the store that I'm pregnant and that is why I need extra soft carpet (not the cheap stuff) because I want the best for the floor that you will first crawl on.  That's because I'm getting bigger and bigger by the day...and so are you!  You are supposedly about 6.5 inches already - which is 6.5 times bigger than the 1 inch picture we saw of you last time.  I cannot WAIT to see you again and start to feel you more and more.  These 12 hours cannot go by fast enough.

I'm also very excited that your dad and I get to watch you together in my stomach.  It's one of those moments that I know I will always treasure with him.  And while I know sometimes he probably doesn't think it's necessary to come to EVERY appointment with me, I think he secretly really likes it because he likes getting to hear your little heart beat.  There are those few seconds when the doctor is searching around for it that I feel like she's never going to find it and my world will be crushed, but then you show yourself (or I guess let us hear you) and everything feels right.

I'm not the most sentimental person (just ask your dad) and I tend to hide my emotions, but when I think about you, I cannot help but smile.  When we were driving to work today talking about ideas for what to name you (which by the way, that's very stressful because I feel like any wrong decision could like ruin your life, even though I know it will be ok!), I smiled the whole time.  Even when your dad kept saying if you are a boy, he still likes the name Rudy....even if that means you will be small and unathletic.  But I have a feeling that you will change me...for the better.  I have a feeling that your dad came into my life to make me a little more open about those things and I think you are coming to push me even more.  And I can't wait.  I'm just going to kiss you all the time - so get ready.

And here I am now.  Trying to finish up some work, but all I can do is think about how our lives will change tomorrow morning.  And how excited we are to keep it a secret for a few more days until everyone that already loves you so much will get together and we'll tell them if you are a girl or boy (by the way, Ben, Eli and Will really want you to be a boy because they want more members of the Carter boys club...but Libbie, Kenlie, Maren, Norah and Katy all want you to be a girl...I'm guessing so they can dress you up...).  Either way, neither your dad or I have strong feelings on what gender you might be, just know how much we already love you.  And how we pray every night that you are healthy and you have 10 fingers, 10 toes, a good set of lungs (no matter boy or girl, we're sure you'll be a great athlete), a good strong heart and a great smile!  Know how excited we are.  Know that we are going to take in the next 5 months as much we can and prepare as best we can for your arrival, but we both know that you will surprise us - in a good way, right?!?!  (maybe you can just hold the huge blow out a few days after you are born...)

But for now, I have to run to Quik Trip (my favorite) to get a coke.  Coke heavy, no diet stuff for you.  So I can drink it first thing tomorrow morning and hopefully it will get you moving around and awake so you will be front and center during your second photo shoot tomorrow!!  For now, sleep tight inside my stomach.  Milly looks forward to snuggling right next to you in bed tonight again!  We're excited to see you tomorrow!!

Love,

Your mom (and dad)