Surreal

While I originally wasn’t a big fan of this whole induction thing, there is something very surreal (meaning: a surreal mix of fact and fantasy) about knowing when you will arrive,  little man.  It makes me look at everything just a little bit differently. 

Just a few of the things I do not want to forget in these final hours before the hospital:

• leaving work last Friday afternoon knowing that the next time I walk in that building, I will be holding you versus you hanging out inside my belly
• going to church on Sunday for the last time baby-less (but do not worry – you had quite the impact on your mom, like how she randomly cried when the lady next to her asked when you were arriving and said she and her friend would say lots of extra prayers for us, when she doesn’t even know us.  I just thought that was so kind – and these hormones make me cry)
• knowing that last night when your dad and I went out to dinner (to his favorite Japanese steakhouse) would be the last time we would go out to dinner together and not have to worry about a baby sitter or bring you along
• getting all the wonderful text messages/phone calls/emails/facebook messages/etc. from all the people telling us how excited they are to meet you!!!  You are one loved little boy already and it’s pretty special
• going through your hospital bag one more time and cramming a few more things in there “just in case” you need them
• walking into your nursery, knowing that in just a few days you will be here to enjoy all these things
• looking around our super clean house – knowing that it will NEVER be this clean probably ever again
• being completely ok with the house never being this clean again because that means you will be a part of our lives
• trying to explain to your dog brother and sister how they should act when you come home to meet them (well, that will be interesting)
• laying in bed this morning with your dad and all the dogs in complete silence…thinking about how crazy it is that it will never ever be this quiet in our house again
• being perfectly ok with not having this morning silence again because that means you will be a part of our lives (yep, keep thinking this...)
• thinking about you constantly and hoping you are ok and ready (I know you are) and then when I think about you, you move around…it’s like you can tell what I’m thinking and give me that reassurance that you ARE ok and you ARE ready
• kissing your dad goodbye this morning and sending him off to work for the last time as just a married guy.  Next time he goes back, he’ll be your dad and that’s all he’ll talk about at work, I’m sure of it

Wow little man.  You have already changed my world, my perspective and most importantly my heart in so many ways I cannot even describe it.  I cannot wait to experience that feeling of pulling out of our driveway tonight and heading to the hospital, knowing that the next time we pull back into the driveway will all be together.  Our little family coming home.  I literally thought about this day when we were looking buying this house over 3 years ago, and I can tell you this – we have transformed this house into a home and it’s ready for you and so are we.

P.S. One thing I do want back after your arrival – my ability to not cry at everything!!!  Jeez – I’m balling my eyes out just writing this, I cannot imagine what it will be like seeing you for the first time.  Surreal.  But will be all so real very soon.